Ghost: “Doctor, I feel faint!”
Doctor: “Well, I guess you do. You’re white as a sheet!”
Tag Archives: doctor
Joke #17675
Q: Why did the doctor tell the ghost to go on a diet?
A: So she could keep her ghoulish figure!
Joke #17674
Q: Why did the doctor tell the sad ghosts to take lots of rides in an elevator?
A: He thought it would raise their spirits!
Joke #17673
Q: Why was the little ghost crying in the doctor’s office?
A: She didn’t want to get her boo-ster shot!
Joke #17672
Nurse: “Doctor, there’s a ghost in your waiting room!”
Doctor: “Tell him I can’t see him!”
Joke #17612
“Doctor, Doctor, please come right away. My dog swallowed a fountain pen!”
“I’ll be right there, but what are you doing in the meantime?”
“I’m using a pencil!”
Joke #17587
“Doctor, Doctor you’ve got to help my brother! He thinks he’s a dog!”
“How long has this been going on?”
“Ever since he was a pup!”
The Doctor Will See You Now
Quote #16598
“The doctor can tell you ‘yes no'”
– Mrs. Stickums
Quote #15345
“go be a doctor! go be a doctor while you still can!”
– from the TV
Quote #15159
“you wanna get together later? The doctor said its not contagious”
– from the TV
Quote #15136
“if you find a lump, go to the doctor”
– The Tom Green Show
Joke #13342
Q: When does a doctor get mad?
A: When he runs out of patients.
Joke #13283
PATIENT: “Doctor, I have a bad liver. What should I do about it?”
DOCTOR: “Take it back to the butcher.”
Joke #13230
PATIENT: “Doctor, my hearing is very bad.”
DOCTOR (shouting): “Do your ears ring?”
PATIENT: “Huh?”
DOCTOR (shouting): “Do your ears ring?”
PATIENT: “Huh?”
DOCTOR (under his breath): “Boy, is this guy stupid!”
PATIENT: “I heard that!”