davepoobond: pure moods is so cool
stimpyismyname: god
davepoobond: thats a compilation cd just in case u dont know
stimpyismyname: i do know
stimpyismyname: i remember the commercials
davepoobond: they sucked so much because they couldnt explain how good it is
stimpyismyname: ok dave
davepoobond: hey boyeee
davepoobond: i saw Black Knight
Holmes: hey monster truck man
davepoobond: it was horrible
Holmes: was it good?
Holmes: figures
davepoobond: it wasn’t nearly as funny as it was supposed to be
davepoobond: it started out with martin lawrence being a jackass
davepoobond: and that was kinda funny
davepoobond: but then he goes through “this magical journey that ends up being a dream”
davepoobond: and everything changes for him
davepoobond: yadda yadda yadda
davepoobond: do good here do good there inside the dream
Holmes: thansk for telling me the story
Holmes: asshole
davepoobond: my pleasure
Holmes: j/k
Holmes: i wasn’t going to see it
davepoobond: well it has some funny stuff, but not too much to make you laugh out loud
davepoobond: kinda like a “heh”
Holmes: oh
davepoobond: its so stupid, this black guy talking about stuff now, and he knows he’s in the 14th century
Holmes: blue streak was pretty funny
davepoobond: yeah it was
davepoobond: but that was made to be funny. this was made to teach a lesson
Holmes: big momma’s house = eh
davepoobond: its like a family movie with cuss words in it basically
davepoobond: and a black guy
davepoobond: you dont see many family movies with black guys in it unless its an all black cast
Holmes: true
Holmes: life was funny…with eddie murphy and martin lawrence
davepoobond: everyone was white in the movie most of the time except, of course, the lady he tries to get it with
davepoobond: there just HAPPENED to be another black girl in england
Holmes: coincidence?
davepoobond: it took about a half an hour in the beginning for him to realize he was in the 14th century
Holmes: hahaha
davepoobond: such a waste of time
Holmes: but i know the number 1 movie i want to see
Holmes: Like Mike
Holmes: (major sarcasm)
davepoobond: oh man
davepoobond: i almost screamed everytime i saw previews for it
Holmes: oh man….
Holmes: and i thought i was the only one
davepoobond: and i think there was this one sentence that i always heard that i repeated
davepoobond: every single time
Holmes: “please let me be……..like mike”
davepoobond: i forgot what it was though…
davepoobond: yeah what the hell
davepoobond: stupid sneakers
davepoobond: they’ve been on a telephone wire for 20 years
davepoobond: God knows how it got up there in the first place
davepoobond: don’t you think itd be kinda nasty putting your foot into that thing
Holmes: it took about 20 hours for a kid in pakistan to finish making those sneakers for Nike
davepoobond: at least those kids are working
davepoobond: unlike the lazy children here
Holmes: yeah
davepoobond: all children should be put to work! just like before the progressives spoiled everything
Holmes: damn progressives
Holmes: !
davepoobond: yeah! making everything today become the standard of what we want everyday. damn them for making us so picky
Holmes: damn them for wanting our drinks: “shaken…..not stirred!”
Holmes: or our meat not rare or well done, but medium!
davepoobond: i dont think they did that…
davepoobond: what they did was actually guarantee that the meat was actually meat
davepoobond: etc. etc.
Holmes: well they should go to mcdonalds
Holmes: and guarrentee THATS meat
davepoobond: its meat, we just dont know what from
Holmes: because i don’t know if I’m eating a timberland boot or rat meat for the chicken nuggets
davepoobond: chicken nuggets are pretty nasty….but at least it isn’t made of soy
davepoobond: have you ever had soy chicken nuggets?
Holmes: yuck no!
davepoobond: i did
davepoobond: worse than anything you can imagine
davepoobond: un-be-lievable
Holmes: i think the worst thing i’ve ever eaten was encore frozen hamburgers
Holmes: it tasted like it was creating a colony of shit on your toungue
Holmes: and the taste would not come out no matter what!
davepoobond: heh
Holmes: I COULD DRINK LISTERINE AND IT WOULDN’T COME OFF!
Holmes: i ended up throwing up
Holmes: even the throw up tasted better then the burgers
Holmes: but you probablly didn’t want to hear that
davepoobond: it comes to wonder, how people even market that shit and pretend like they’re gonna make money
davepoobond: what do they think we are?
Holmes: idiotic fat americans who spend money on anything that sounds good
davepoobond: yeah, and they milk it for all that products worth until it stops making money, and then they move onto their next shitty product
davepoobond: like Diet Soda
Holmes: y – u – c – k
Holmes: Pepsi One
Holmes: Diet pepsi
Holmes: Diet caffeine free pepsi
Holmes: Diet coke
Holmes: Diet coke with lemon twist
davepoobond: diet 7 up
Holmes: diet sprite
davepoobond: diet cherry pepsi
davepoobond: diet cherry coke
davepoobond: diet cherry 7 up
Holmes: diet vanilla coke
Holmes: diet dew
Holmes: diet dr. pepper
davepoobond: this is a sad world we live in when there’s more than 4000 different sodas to chose from
Holmes: and the biggest problem in this world is choosing between the two rivals
Holmes: coke
Holmes: or
Holmes: pepsi
davepoobond: there’s also RC
davepoobond: but no one gives a shit about them
Holmes: RC….i haven’t had a cola from them in a long ass time
davepoobond: they don’t sell it anywhere but in the middle of the desert at a garage with a vending machine 20 years old
Holmes: ever try moxy?
davepoobond: the hell?
Holmes: moxy is the first original “soda”
davepoobond: i thought it was 7 up
Holmes: it’s uncarbonated and has almost no sugar
davepoobond: oh.
Holmes: wait
davepoobond: that’s not a soda
Holmes: it’s carbonated
Holmes: sorry
Holmes: forget i said that
davepoobond: k
davepoobond: y’mean club soda?
Holmes: no
Holmes: but my cousin drank some
Holmes: he said it hits your toungue like a 2000 pound bitter anvil
Holmes: gotta go
davepoobond: k bye
davepoobond: dude bigfoot was fake after all
FireRaze: and I just found out that the Loch Ness monster is not really swimming around at Loch ness…
davepoobond: but i’m telling the truth
FireRaze: Oh…really, I was just messing with ya
davepoobond: heh
davepoobond: bigfoot was this 84 year old guy that just died
FireRaze: are you really being serious?
davepoobond: yeah
FireRaze: cool
FireRaze: where did you find that out?
davepoobond: on the news
davepoobond: yesterday
FireRaze: you mean….on TV?
davepoobond: yeah
davepoobond: Ernie the Attorney
stimpyismyname: quit you
stimpyismyname: quiet
stimpyismyname: yea
stimpyismyname: shut yer trap
stimpyismyname: what are you doing
stimpyismyname: crap?
davepoobond: just finished writing me essay
davepoobond: lol i got this file that was supposed to be metallica covering pearl jam – jeremy. but its just 3 guys being idiots and singing the whole thing with the actual song. but i like it!
Holmes: lol
davepoobond: but it was pretty good
davepoobond: you can barely hear the music though
Holmes: i downloaded a music video a while ago, i forgot who it was, but it ended up being a porn
davepoobond: lol
davepoobond: was it a good porn?
Holmes: pissed me off
Holmes: no
davepoobond: what kind
Holmes: it was a guy jerkin off on a girls face
davepoobond: lol
Holmes: i mean you would think he would get a blowjob off of her but no, he decided to beat his shit
davepoobond: what was she doing just sitting there or somethin
davepoobond: kneeling down “yes ejaculate on me!”
Holmes: she didn’t say anything, she was on her knees with her eye’s closed waiting for it to rain cum
davepoobond: lol
Holmes: the guy was moaning…he sounded like an elephant
davepoobond: omg thats hilarious
Holmes: “ERRRRRRHHHM HAVEN’T USED THIS IN A WHILE”
davepoobond: did you watch the whole thing
Holmes: it was like 15 seconds
davepoobond: did he get off though
Holmes: yeah
Holmes: then it ended
davepoobond: was the girls expression like =-O
Holmes: no she had the same expression the whole time
Holmes: eyes closed
Holmes: head up
davepoobond: not smiling or anything?
Holmes: waiting for jiz shower
Holmes: even when it happened
Holmes: nope
davepoobond: wut a stupid porn
Holmes: i know
Holmes: deleted it right after i got it
davepoobond: did he have a small weinieee
Holmes: i didn’t measure
Holmes: nor did i care
davepoobond: lol
Holmes: but i think it was average
davepoobond: heh
davepoobond: average
davepoobond: heh
Holmes: i’m not the cockexpert
davepoobond: i saw this ridiculous movie
davepoobond: called “message in a voice mail”
davepoobond: it was a family movie
davepoobond: kinda thing
davepoobond: on HBO Family
davepoobond: this stupid kid finds this fat guy’s cell phone, and when he goes to his hotel room to return it to him, he hears the guy getting shot “and also his father’s name”
davepoobond: and this little kid was so annoying
davepoobond: his face
davepoobond: my god, i never saw such a stupid face
Holmes: lol
davepoobond: its like a cross between macauly culkin’s screaming face
davepoobond: and some other thing
davepoobond: like a kid that has been molested
davepoobond: many times
davepoobond: and he has 2 stupid friends
davepoobond: one asshole
davepoobond: and this fat kid
davepoobond: that isn’t really that fat
davepoobond: but he is
davepoobond: and he wears glasses
davepoobond: and he always has a lollipop
davepoobond: and the “popular hangout” is the pool at this hotel
davepoobond: all these kinda hot girls were actually there
davepoobond: and the first 10 or 15 minutes of the movie
davepoobond: was just them being assholes
davepoobond: and pushing girls in bikinis into the pool
davepoobond: and that stupid asshole friend “breakdances” and shit
davepoobond: and theres like all these scenes of him following right behind all these hot girls underwater
Holmes: wow
davepoobond: and then after about 7 of those
davepoobond: he’s gettin chased by a fat girl in a one piece
davepoobond: the same way
davepoobond: goddamn its so stupid
davepoobond: he missed like the vital 2 minutes of the movie though, so i didnt understand the rest of the movie that much
davepoobond: something about like they had to crack the code or something
davepoobond: man
davepoobond: it sucked
davepoobond: another movie that sucked: Chrome and Hot Leather
davepoobond: check it out
davepoobond: it was made in 1970
davepoobond: its about a biker gang
Holmes: too many damn bad movies
davepoobond: and in that family movie
davepoobond: they only had one song
davepoobond: as their soundtrack
davepoobond: it was a punk song
davepoobond: they played it at the beginning, and at the end
davepoobond: it was supposed to make it seem like those 3 kids were really cool
davepoobond: cuz they were breakdancing and shit
davepoobond: but they really werent breakdancing
Holmes: wow
Holmes: sounds horrible
davepoobond: it is
Holmes: HORRIBLE
davepoobond: i cant even explain why someone would write something like this
davepoobond: unless they had a similar experience
davepoobond: and the acting is purely laughable
davepoobond: its one of the funniest movies i’ve ever seen
davepoobond: and all through the movie, its like “what the hell is the mom doing, she’s so stupid”
davepoobond: she’s aware of the problem, but she doesn’t care to find out about it
davepoobond: and this guys dad is in jail
davepoobond: man its just so stupid
stimpyismyname: fart
stimpyismyname: a golfball hit my car
davepoobond: heh
davepoobond: on the glass?
stimpyismyname: no
stimpyismyname: roof
davepoobond: you and me baby aint nothin but mammals so lets do it like they do on the discovery channel doo be doo be doooo…
Holmes: what the
davepoobond: what?
Holmes: hold on brb
davepoobond: k
Holmes: ok
Holmes: that was the worst pickup line ever
davepoobond: heh. its a song
Holmes: well
Holmes: thats the worst song
Holmes: ever
davepoobond: no it isnt
davepoobond: its a funny song
Holmes: oh it’s a comedy song?
davepoobond: not really
davepoobond: its not made for comedy
davepoobond: its like an actual song
davepoobond: made by an actual band
davepoobond: bloodhound gang – the bad touch
Holmes: oh
Holmes: well it’s a bad song but funny
davepoobond: u got it already?
Holmes: no i might
Holmes: i have too many damn songs on my computer
Holmes: 3 people using this computer and 3 different kinds of music
Holmes: rap, hard rock and techno
davepoobond: good techno or shitty techno
Holmes: good techno
stimpyismyname: yo
davepoobond: yo
davepoobond: haha get it yo yo
davepoobond: i wanted to sayyyy
stimpyismyname: pretty good
davepoobond: dont you shivaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
davepoobond: shivaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
stimpyismyname: ..?
davepoobond: thats a cold play song
davepoobond: if u even KNEW
stimpyismyname: coldplay sucks
davepoobond: no they dont
davepoobond: thats why they’re selling millions of albums and your not
stimpyismyname: i didnt make an album
davepoobond: and your point being?
stimpyismyname: but if i did it would be better
stimpyismyname: nyah
davepoobond: ya right
stimpyismyname: coldplay sucks
davepoobond: as opposed to hot play?
davepoobond: hahahaha
stimpyismyname: as opposed to your mom
stimpyismyname: wanna play a yahoo game
davepoobond: i guess so. i need a link again
stimpyismyname: sqare and enix merged
stimpyismyname: woo
davepoobond: great
davepoobond: now they can make good games as one
davepoobond: what are they called now?
stimpyismyname: star ocean final fantasy
davepoobond: Star Ocean IX
stimpyismyname: “Square Enix”
davepoobond: really
stimpyismyname: but theyre not sure
davepoobond: thats gay
stimpyismyname: star ocean 3
stimpyismyname: actually
davepoobond: they’re still makin star ocean?
stimpyismyname: what would you call it
davepoobond: Squaresoft
davepoobond: heh
davepoobond: no one cares about enix
davepoobond: except dragon warrior likers and star ocean lovers
stimpyismyname: yeah
stimpyismyname: star ocean
stimpyismyname: dragon quest
davepoobond: dragon warrior
davepoobond: thats all they got
davepoobond: its like they’re buying 2 games
davepoobond: maybe square will make it better now
stimpyismyname: make your mom better
stimpyismyname: oooh
stimpyismyname: devil may cry
stimpyismyname: greatist hit!
stimpyismyname: thats a fun game
davepoobond: yay
davepoobond: maybe i’ll buy it now
stimpyismyname: metal gear solid 2 also
davepoobond: does it get boring after a while though?
davepoobond: whoohoo
stimpyismyname: which
davepoobond: dmc
stimpyismyname: i dunno
davepoobond: gta3 is gonna be a greatest hit now isnt it?
stimpyismyname: i didnt beat it
stimpyismyname: its pretty hard
stimpyismyname: not yet
stimpyismyname: silent hill 2…
stimpyismyname: fart
stimpyismyname: wanna doooooooooo somethin
davepoobond: after 3
davepoobond: some guy is supposed to come
davepoobond: to fix the heater
davepoobond: dunno if he’s gonna come while my moms home for lunch
stimpyismyname: interesting
davepoobond: you and me baby aint nothin but mammals so lets do it like they do on the discovery channel doo be doo be doooo…
stimpyismyname: stfu
stimpyismyname: weeee are the champions my friens
davepoobond: frien?
stimpyismyname: friends
stimpyismyname: fag
davepoobond: i didnt know u had fags for friends
davepoobond: wait a second…
davepoobond: i just dissed myself…
stimpyismyname: yea
stimpyismyname: u did
stimpyismyname: lil fag
davepoobond: ur the fag
stimpyismyname: oh yeah?!
stimpyismyname: im gonna kill you
FroggyStyle: ey ey
FroggyStyle: 10 reasons it’s good 2 b rich.. wana hear?
davepoobond: sure
FroggyStyle: 1. We get minorities to do our work, and when we discriminate against them, they can’t do shit about it!
FroggyStyle: 2. You don’t spend more than ten minutes worrying about losing a 20 dollar bill.
FroggyStyle: p.s. – aol sux
davepoobond: heh
davepoobond: so that’s all
davepoobond: only 2
FroggyStyle: 2?
davepoobond: i only got 2 of them
davepoobond: the reasons why its good to b rich
FroggyStyle: goddamn i sent all of them, musta got disconnected b4 it sed
FroggyStyle: 😛
davepoobond: heh
FroggyStyle: 3. You can spend 5 bucks on a bottle of water and use 1/2 of it to squirt on other people without feeling guilty.
FroggyStyle: 4. People we hate eventually have to work for us or become homeless.
FroggyStyle: 5. We can actually swim in a bathtub full of money.
FroggyStyle: 6. People treat you better because they think you’ll buy stuff for them.
FroggyStyle: 7. In your heart, you know God loves you more.
FroggyStyle: 8. Watching poor people is funny.
FroggyStyle: 9. I can do only 9 of these, and not do the tenth, because I’m rich, and I don’t need to do any more work.
davepoobond: heh
FroggyStyle: asdfasdf DAMN AOL! u get them all?
davepoobond: ya
FroggyStyle: kk
davepoobond: rock the casbah!
YoursTruly: lol
davepoobond: the first woman president will probably be a Bush
Holmes: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Holmes: don’t scare me like that
davepoobond: thats what i’m betting
davepoobond: there’s two of them
davepoobond: but no son
davepoobond: i dont think
Holmes: eh
It is a blocked off one way street for me.
I am totally delusional about any possibility of pooping that might stem from any food that I have.
No one will ever be poop with me. She never pooped with me… I never had a chance to poop, I don’t have a chance to poop with anyone. Was there ever an opportunity? Guess not, after all. I truly am naive about this stuff, and I’ll never catch up with those assholes that treat their poop like shit. But I don’t want to be someone that poops the first poop that ever goes out my ass either. But I’ll probably end up being that kind of person if it ever even happens.
This shit is lame, why do I have to get worked up over this crap when I know what the ending will be? Poop stays the same.
I’d like to think that someday it’ll happen, but will it? No one cares. I should probably stop caring, too. I’m starting to think I’m constipated. Am I really? I think I am. I probably am. Constipation is the word of the day. I create these situations, and feel like something may happen, but they never do. How many times has this happened to me? Is it 10 times, now? When is going to be the next one? It’s like I’ve been on a toilet for 10 years.
I am constipated. I eat things that do not exist, as if only to hurt myself and to make myself even more constipated, trying to attach myself to the next poop that might even show some sort of unintentional interest to come out of me. I probably need a fucking doctor.
I’m as pitiful as you are. Probably even more so. I make fun of the things you poop, but are they so far from what I actually feel like pooping?
Can I stop myself from not pooping into another constipation? I don’t know how I can when its all I fucking think about. I always think about how it would be just great to poop, as if it actually would make things better. Would things even be better? No, who am I kidding? I’m only creating more poop for myself to fall into and think endlessly about, and waste my time when I should probably just be pooping. Or does THAT even matter? Will I even remember that I pooped the next time I poop? No, of course not. Very unlikely, after all. Just another one of my delusions of thinking that I could take a crap without thinking so heavily.
What can I do? I have no idea.
I never understood how poops can even begin. Its like “hey let’s be a poop?” Fuck. How the hell am I supposed to know? How do you even poop one if you don’t know how it becomes poop? It hurts my bowels.
I really don’t want to poop alone, but it seems that it’ll be the case when I get to the end of the road.
davepoobond: nerd
OmnipotentDragun: me?
davepoobond: yes
OmnipotentDragun: why’s that?
davepoobond: cuz ur in “Geneaolgy Chat”
OmnipotentDragun: ok . . . . .
OmnipotentDragun: so are you
davepoobond: so i can tell people like u that ur nerds
davepoobond: doyyyyyyy
OmnipotentDragun: Are you smart?
davepoobond: ….no……….wait……..yes…….wait…….is this a trick question?
OmnipotentDragun: Not that I know of
OmnipotentDragun: But we’ll just have to see where the conversation goes
davepoobond: down the potty
davepoobond: teehee
davepoobond: i said potty
davepoobond: thats a naughty word in the house
davepoobond: we’re not aloud to say that kinda word
davepoobond: like poo
davepoobond: or even the word chocolate
OmnipotentDragun: I’m willing to bet that you’re fairly old, atleast in comparison to the way you’re trying to come across as
davepoobond: did you just contradict yourself?
davepoobond: oops i said another bad word
davepoobond: try to guess which
OmnipotentDragun: yourself?
davepoobond: AGHH!
OmnipotentDragun: wrong?
davepoobond: no u guessed it right
davepoobond: semicolon dash D
davepoobond: using smilies is prohibited in this household
davepoobond: we have to type out what we want to say
OmnipotentDragun: and why’s that?
davepoobond: cuz smilies are the DEVIL
davepoobond: THE DEVIL I SAY
OmnipotentDragun: And what is god?
davepoobond: or at least thats what mamma said
OmnipotentDragun: no smiley faces?
davepoobond: no, there is this really funny site though
davepoobond: called www.squackle.com
davepoobond: thats God
OmnipotentDragun: Pardon me for not visiting, but bad things can come through web-sites nowadays
davepoobond: too bad…
davepoobond: its really a great place
OmnipotentDragun: Poor me
OmnipotentDragun: So, what’s the deffinition of a nerd/
OmnipotentDragun: ?
davepoobond: u may even be up there one day
davepoobond: mwah
davepoobond: mwah mwah
OmnipotentDragun: ?
davepoobond: u’ll never know cuz u’ll never go
davepoobond: ahhahahaha
OmnipotentDragun: ok
OmnipotentDragun: take care man
davepoobond: k bye
davepoobond: u takin off?
OmnipotentDragun: nah, I just thought you were out of things to say to try and freak me out
davepoobond: ha
davepoobond: thats funny
davepoobond: i havent even begun
davepoobond: give me a topic
OmnipotentDragun: it won’t work
OmnipotentDragun: so save your time
davepoobond: if i saved my time i’d have more time to bug u
OmnipotentDragun: if you saved your time, you’d have more time to spend reading
davepoobond: pfff
davepoobond: now i KNOW ur a nerd
davepoobond: i was right
OmnipotentDragun: The urge to learn makes me a nerd?
davepoobond: not exactly
davepoobond: but to say that i should spend my time reading
OmnipotentDragun: you should
davepoobond: and also using “urge” and “learn” in the same sentence
OmnipotentDragun: I have a vocation to consume and understand knowledge, better?
davepoobond: boy that took a while for you to cough up
davepoobond: i bet you made use of yer handy dandy electronic thesaurus/dictionary that you always keep by your side in dire times
OmnipotentDragun: Nah, I keep a knife on my side- the only reason it took so long is that I’m talknig to several other people at the moment
davepoobond: myow myow myow myow?
OmnipotentDragun: ok. . . . .
davepoobond: ok, then whiz kid, whats the most intellectual thing you know
OmnipotentDragun: I don’t suppose I know anyhting intellectual
davepoobond: sure you do
davepoobond: i know you know something smart
OmnipotentDragun: ok
davepoobond: better yet, who framed roger rabbit?
davepoobond: i still don’t know
OmnipotentDragun: the guy from back to the future
davepoobond: christopher lloyd?
OmnipotentDragun: the cartoon that pretended to be human
OmnipotentDragun: yeah, that dude
davepoobond: the guy that was in The Pagemaster, with Macauly Culkin?
davepoobond: the guy that was in Angels In the Outfield?
davepoobond: the guy that was in no good movie to speak of?
OmnipotentDragun: hehehe
OmnipotentDragun: that’s the one
davepoobond: oh yeah, you can just call him AL. no one can see him or hear him but you.
davepoobond: did you know THAT
OmnipotentDragun: . . . .
OmnipotentDragun: I remember it now that you mention it
OmnipotentDragun: why>?
davepoobond: cuz……………..mmmh….ANGELS WIN! ANGELS WIN!!
davepoobond: WHOOOOOOO
OmnipotentDragun: ok man
davepoobond: they actually did.
davepoobond: y’know
davepoobond: if u watch sports or listen to the news at all
davepoobond: when you’re not reading your books that is
OmnipotentDragun: I’m working now more than reading
davepoobond: y’know, get aware of the understanding of whats happening in the world
davepoobond: i bet you didnt even know that there’s been a killing spree in LA
OmnipotentDragun: ok . . . . .
davepoobond: or even that we’re on the brink of war AGAIN, with Iraq
OmnipotentDragun: Not to mention osama bin laden is still alive(like anyone cares)
davepoobond: how long did you have to put down ur book to read a newspaper for that one?
OmnipotentDragun: I work more than read anymore, or were you not listening?
davepoobond: yeah but when ur not working i meant
davepoobond: or were you not assuming that
davepoobond: obviously not
OmnipotentDragun: I don’t care much for most current events
OmnipotentDragun: They seem so trivial
davepoobond: aha….i knew it…
davepoobond: i know your kind
OmnipotentDragun: my kind?
davepoobond: youre the type of person that sits at home, and in his spare time, picks up a good book. not the bible, but something a bit more….interesting…
davepoobond: ah, but i’m not done explaining yet
OmnipotentDragun: Soothsayer
davepoobond: you have a few select, maybe 1 maybe less….maybe negative friends even. you probably dont waste your time or money on the sound systems. you have a tv, but you barely get any use out of it. all you do is sit in that lovely chair in your den, with your reading lamp
davepoobond: you’re a part of a book club. not a woman’s interest book club, but still a book club. you get together every thursday, at approximately 6:00, after work at the local retail book store.
davepoobond: maybe Costco
davepoobond: or some warehouse kind of store
davepoobond: or a large grocery store that tries to be like a Costco
davepoobond: anyway, your friend comes around every sunday, to play that “weekly chessmatch”
davepoobond: but you have 2 chessboards, one for your “chess by mail” friend
davepoobond: and one for you and your other friend
davepoobond: your friend probably speaks 3 languages, and has glasses on. he has a sort of a lisp
davepoobond: and an accent. its hard to understand him, so he just writes down what he wants to say, cuz he stutters when he speaks, and it’ll be less effort, cuz he’d rather “conserve his energy”
davepoobond: you probably smell, and don’t wear any deodorant, but just won’t get the hint from others at your job, because that would just be mean to say to one of your fellow employees that “you stink”
OmnipotentDragun: I have comprehension
davepoobond: ah yes, we all do
davepoobond: so, how much did i get right?
OmnipotentDragun: Almost none
davepoobond: ::snap::
davepoobond: ok, i’ve got the alternative lifestyle for you also…
davepoobond: what did i get right though?
OmnipotentDragun: picks up a good book. not the bible, but something a bit more….interesting…
davepoobond: no favortie chair in the den with your reading lamp?
davepoobond: it’s probably a couch with a regular lamp
OmnipotentDragun: I sit all over the place
OmnipotentDragun: You’d never be able to peg me
davepoobond: that was some good devolpment though wasn’t it
OmnipotentDragun: no
davepoobond: ….oh…
davepoobond: ok, lemme take another guess at it then
OmnipotentDragun: be quick
OmnipotentDragun: I don’t have all night
davepoobond: your a tough biker guy, you have a long brown beard, and piercings on your left ear.
davepoobond: you’ve got a chopper, 92
OmnipotentDragun: no. . . .right ear
OmnipotentDragun: j/k
davepoobond: heh….k…..
davepoobond: you’ve got a biker maid
davepoobond: the one that always rides on your bike
davepoobond: but is actually going out with some other biker in your biker gang
davepoobond: your biker gang is known as the “chain swingers”
davepoobond: cuz you swing around sacks of salami
davepoobond: one day, you see a car flying off the curb, and you and your biker gang, somehow end up being attacked by 3 marines in the mountain range, and one of them is claiming that your gang killed his wife
davepoobond: and they declare war on your biker gang
davepoobond: using all these military weaponry that they could never actually really possibly get
OmnipotentDragun: you can stop now
davepoobond: oh, have you seen that movie?
OmnipotentDragun: Would you like to know about me, instead of just stabbing in the dark?
davepoobond: sure
OmnipotentDragun: I’m 17, I work at the house I just recently purchased, I work out every night, I read to prep myself for college
davepoobond: thats it.
OmnipotentDragun: HA
OmnipotentDragun: I lied
OmnipotentDragun: MWA HA HA HA
OmnipotentDragun: ^ evil laugh
OmnipotentDragun: j/k
davepoobond: yeah it was hard to believe, cuz it sounded so normal
davepoobond: ha
davepoobond: MWAH
OmnipotentDragun: j/k
OmnipotentDragun: I really am 17
davepoobond: no bike gang legacy?
OmnipotentDragun: nah
OmnipotentDragun: not yet atleast
OmnipotentDragun: but who knows what my future holds
davepoobond: the people in the movie Hot Leather and something else i forgot (made in 1970) were only about 18 or so
davepoobond: it was really stupid crap
davepoobond: it was funny as hell though
davepoobond: oh wait, it was “Chrome and Hot Leather”
davepoobond: made in 1971
davepoobond: On a mission of vengeance, a man goes after the gang of motorcycle thugs who killed his fiancee.
OmnipotentDragun: sounds like a laugh riot
davepoobond: it really is
davepoobond: rent it
davepoobond: as much as i love to sit on my ass and doddle with you, i really must be going
davepoobond: mother wails for me to get off
OmnipotentDragun: how old are you?
OmnipotentDragun: honestly
davepoobond: a month away from 17
OmnipotentDragun: Why speak like an infant?
OmnipotentDragun: but if you must go
davepoobond: we can continue this later
OmnipotentDragun: if you wish
OmnipotentDragun: though that may be the beginning of another story, this is the end of ours for now- Dostoevsky
OmnipotentDragun: bye
davepoobond: yes. right. bye.
davepoobond: check out www.squackle.com though, its my web site
OmnipotentDragun: no virus’?
davepoobond: i promise there’s nothing bad on it
davepoobond: and its better than porn
davepoobond: 😀
OmnipotentDragun: LIE
OmnipotentDragun: NOTHING IS BETTER THAN PORN
OmnipotentDragun: j/k
OmnipotentDragun: later man
davepoobond: bye
davepoobond: who knows, maybe you can write stuff for me for the site
OmnipotentDragun: does it pay?
davepoobond: nah
OmnipotentDragun: Maybe so then
davepoobond: just for the fame and glory of having your stuff on a web site
OmnipotentDragun: Just so long as it doesn’t pay
davepoobond: and to tell your friends “hey look, that’s MY article/story/joke/dumb thing”
OmnipotentDragun: How about portrait of genitals?
OmnipotentDragun: Would that be acceptable?
davepoobond: depends on whos
davepoobond: yours?
OmnipotentDragun: good answer
OmnipotentDragun: doesn’t matter
davepoobond: if its funny lookin, ok
davepoobond: check out the Screwed Up Chronicles. thats actually the more “serious” part of the site
davepoobond: ok bye for good now bye
davepoobond: hi i have a dog
davepoobond: do you
DawgsDawgsDawgs: yep
davepoobond: really. do you have more than one dog?
DawgsDawgsDawgs: nope..only 1
davepoobond: do you have THREE dogs
DawgsDawgsDawgs: nope
DawgsDawgsDawgs: lol
davepoobond: cuz you have mispelled dogs three times in your screen name
DawgsDawgsDawgs: do u?
davepoobond: that offends me
DawgsDawgsDawgs: im sorry:-(
davepoobond: u better b
davepoobond: cuz i dont take lightly to assholes
DawgsDawgsDawgs: i am, promise
DawgsDawgsDawgs: im not an asshole
davepoobond: yes u are
davepoobond: i bet u r
davepoobond: cuz u say whut ur not
DawgsDawgsDawgs: am not
davepoobond: ya right
DawgsDawgsDawgs: fucker
davepoobond: HEY
davepoobond: watch ur LAQNAGE
davepoobond: ur profiles GAY
davepoobond: GAY GYA GYA GYA GAY
DawgsDawgsDawgs: sooooo, u got a point?
davepoobond: GAGAGAGAGAGAY
DawgsDawgsDawgs: besides tha fact u spelled gay wrong?
davepoobond: ur mom spelled gay wrong
davepoobond: ask her how to spell gay
davepoobond: i bet she’ll say “M E”
davepoobond: AHAHAHA
davepoobond: or maybe “Y O U”
DawgsDawgsDawgs: nope
DawgsDawgsDawgs: sorry
davepoobond: star minus slash
davepoobond: *-/
DawgsDawgsDawgs: she’ll may b say….” d a v e p o o b o n d”
davepoobond: semicolon dash D
davepoobond: colon dash exclamation mark?
davepoobond: or maybe she’ll say “D O G S”
davepoobond: CUZ CATS RULEEEEEEEEE
davepoobond: I HATE DOGS
DawgsDawgsDawgs: i do 2
davepoobond: DOGS ARE GAY CUZ THEY SNIFF EACH OTHER’S ASSSSSS
DawgsDawgsDawgs: i dont like dogs..
davepoobond: sure sure
DawgsDawgsDawgs: i have 5 kats
DawgsDawgsDawgs: and no dogs
DawgsDawgsDawgs: y would i like dogs
davepoobond: cuz u have a sn doyyy
DawgsDawgsDawgs: it’s an inside joke b/t my friends
davepoobond: what friends
davepoobond: haahaha
DawgsDawgsDawgs: tha 1s i have and u dont
DawgsDawgsDawgs: hahaha, u got dissed
davepoobond: OK SO IS IT SUCH A CRIME TO NOT HAVE ANY FRIENDS
davepoobond: I’M SORRY, ALL I DO IS TALK TO STRANGERS, TRYING TO BUILD MY PEOPLE SKILLS
DawgsDawgsDawgs: lol
DawgsDawgsDawgs: im sorry:-(
davepoobond: build me up buttercup
DawgsDawgsDawgs: 😀
davepoobond: i hope you know i was just bullshitting u the whole time
davepoobond: dogs arent really gay….
DawgsDawgsDawgs: i dont like em
DawgsDawgsDawgs: i think they r
davepoobond: but i do have to say that your profile is
davepoobond: 😀
DawgsDawgsDawgs: yeah, i kno