GOOD: Your car conveniently “runs out of gas.”
BAD: For real.
Joke #5361
GOOD: Your boyfriend is exercising.
BAD: So he’ll fit in your clothes.
Joke #5360
GOOD: You go to see a strip show.
BAD: Your daughter’s the headliner.
Joke #5359
GOOD: You get tickets to the theatre.
BAD: It’s performance art.
Joke #5358
GOOD: You get a three-day weekend.
BAD: You get the flu on Friday.
Joke #5357
GOOD: You came home for a quickie.
BAD: Your wife walks in.
Joke #5356
GOOD: You came home for a quickie.
BAD: So did the postman.
Joke #5355
GOOD: The teacher likes your son.
BAD: Sexually.
WORSE: He’s gay.
Joke #5354
GOOD: The secretary said “yes.”
BAD: Your wife says “no.”
Joke #5353
GOOD: The postman’s early.
BAD: He’s wearing camos and has an AK-47.
Joke #5352
GOOD: Hot outdoor sex.
BAD: You’re arrested.
WORSE: By your husband.
Joke #5351
BAD: Your wife’s arrested for soliciting.
WORSE: She implicates you.
Joke #5350
BAD: Your wife’s leaving you.
WORSE: To enter a convent.
Joke #5349
BAD: Your wife’s leaving you.
WORSE: For another woman.
Joke #5348
BAD: Your wife wants a divorce.
WORSE: She’s a lawyer.