Then there was the sailor who joined the frogmen because he couldn’t swim.
Joke #12060
They should draft women and make them offensive specialists. Just think how much they know about charging things.
Joke #12059
Did you hear about the woman who joined the Army rather than the Navy because she looked better in green than in blue?
Joke #12058
“Captain, I’m not overweight based on the Army’s height-to-weight chart, I just happen to be five inches too short.”
Joke #12057
How did I make out in the Army? Well, let me put it this way. The Army was a jungle, and I was the only zebra in it without stripes.
Joke #12056
An old Navy proverb states:
“Two heads are better than one — especially on a crowded ship.”
Joke #12055
The general has a military figure. Most of his weight is at the front, but substantial reinforcements are building up in the rear.
Joke #12054
PVT.: “I’m a buck private.”
GAL: “Golly! Is that all they pay you?”
Joke #12053
Then there was the Marine who was so tough, he used a blow torch to shave and gasoline for an after-shave lotion.
Joke #12052
SON: “Hey, Dad, what did you do in the war?”
DAD: “I was a pilot. I shot down 24 planes. Some of them were the enemies’.”
Joke #12051
MESS SGT: “Do me a favor, Weaver. Taste what’s in that pot over there.”
PVT WEAVER: “Yech! It tastes like dish water.”
MESS SGT: “Thanks! It must be the stew because the pea soup tastes like mud.”
Joke #12050
When I joined the Navy, my recruiter promised me I’d see the world. After I signed my enlistment papers, he kept his promise. He took me in a back room and showed me a globe.
Joke #12049
FATHER: “Is it true the navy has a submarine that can stay underwater for months?”
SAILOR SON: “Yes, we have one that now only comes up so the men can vote in a presidential election.”
Joke #12048
SERGEANT: “What can I do for you, Skiles?”
PVT. SKILES: “I was wondering if I can take a tank home tonight. I’m teaching my wife to drive.”
Joke #12047
MOTHER: “What are you looking for, Jimmy?”
JIMMY: “I’m looking for a dime.”
MOTHER: “Where did you lose the dime?”
JIMMY: “I didn’t lose it. I just want one.”