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Category Archives: Poetry and Songs
Poetry and songs. Funny and serious.
If You’re Happy And You Know It, Bomb Iraq
Parody of “If You’re Happy and You Know It.”
–
If You’re Happy And You Know It – Bomb Iraq
If you cannot find Osama, bomb Iraq.
If the terrorists are frisky,
Pakistan is looking shifty,
North Korea is too risky,
Bomb Iraq.
If we have no allies with us, bomb Iraq.
If we think that someone’s dissed us, bomb Iraq.
So to hell with the inspections,
Let’s look tough for the elections,
Close your mind and take directions,
Bomb Iraq.
It’s pre-emptive non-aggression, bomb Iraq.
To prevent this mass destruction, bomb Iraq.
They’ve got weapons we can’t see,
And that’s all the proof we need,
If they’re not there, they must be,
Bomb Iraq.
If you never were elected, bomb Iraq.
If your mood is quite dejected, bomb Iraq.
If you think Saddam’s gone mad,
With the weapons that he had,
And he tried to kill your dad,
Bomb Iraq.
If corporate fraud is growin’, bomb Iraq.
If your ties to it are showin’, bomb Iraq.
If your politics are sleazy,
And hiding that ain’t easy,
And your manhood’s getting queasy,
Bomb Iraq.
If your economy’s in repression, Bomb Iraq
If you fear a great depression, bomb Iraq
If you want lotsa oil,
Land on a countries soil,
Put the world in turmoil,
Bomb Iraq
Fall in line and follow orders, bomb Iraq.
For our might knows not our borders, bomb Iraq.
Disagree? We’ll call it treason,
Let’s make war not love this season,
Even if we have no reason,
Bomb Iraq
Vote For davepoobond
When you’re thirsty, you get a drink.
When you gotta pee, you go to the bathroom.
When you vote for assemblies commisioner, vote for
DAVEPOOBOND
Now go wash your hands.
Get My Doctor On the Line
Parody of “Baby One More Time,” by Britney Spears.
–
There’s more than 1 way to “blow up”…
Oh baby baby
How was I supposed to grow?
Into this size 9 here..
Oh baby baby
The doc should have let me know..
And now my shirt’s too tight,yeah..
He asked me how many cc’s
of silicone that I could hold..
Now-
My Double D’s are killing me..
I must confess sometimes I leak..
My shirt’s see through you can see my spine,
Give me a dime..
Get my doctor on the line!
Oh baby baby-
I wheeze when I squeeze,it true.
I can feel the bones behind them..
Oh baby baby-
Can you cut each one in two..
Or maybe I could cram them..
Before-going on MTV..
Are they big enough for my new show..?
Because-
My Double D’s are killing me..(filling me)
I must confess sometimes I leak,(sometimes I leak)
My shirt’s see through,you can see my spine-
Give me a dime..
Get my doctor on the line!
Oh baby baby-
You know I’m suppose to blow
your money on my tight brassieres..
Oh baby baby
I shouldn’t have had the hose..
Go and fill them through my right ear..
You promised me an average c-
But these basketballs are hitting my nose..
And-
My Double D’s are killing me (spilling free)
I must confess sometimes I leak (sometimes I leak)
My shirt’s see through,you can see my spine-
Give me a dime..
Get my doctor on the line!
Little Old Lady
Little old lady
Who lived in a shoe
She had so many kids
Her uterus fell out.
Roses are Red…
Roses are Red,
Violets are Blue,
Some poems rhyme,
This one doesn’t you wanker
Say You’ll Grow Hair
Parody of “Say You’ll Be There” by the Spice Girls.
–
Say you’ll grow hair…
Say you’ll grow hair…
I’m getting a new hair piece
For this boy I see
This I swear…
Last time, you had an evaluation
I decided that I’d fix your split ends…yeah
But now I just twist them up in circles
Tell me when this growing bald spot will end…
Now you – tell me that you’re using a glove
Well the Velcro it should work easily…
This time, you gotta rake it easy, gently part it-
There’s just too much lotion for me…
Any fool can see that it’s falling,
Gotta take this hair to the can…. (Yes I do, yeah)
I’m getting a new hair piece
For this boy I see,this I swear…
And… all that I want from you,
Is a wig or two, to be there… (Say you’ll grow hair!)
If you, glue 2 more hairs together
Then we’ll see – what this hair spray is for…
If you – can’t fight this bald invasion…
I’ll just make you sweep the hair off the floor.
There is no weave, too frayed or ugly
It would be better left on your head. (Yes it would, yeah)
I’m getting a new hair piece
For this boy I see… this I swear (Say you’ll grow hair!)
And… all that I want from you,
Is a wig or two, to be there. (Yeah, toupees too)
I’m getting a new hair piece
For this boy I see ,this I swear… (Say you’ll grow hair!)
And… all that I want from you,
Is a wig or two to be there.
The Flying Poop Poem
The night was dark,
The sky was blue,
Around the corner
The poop wagon flew,
A shot was fired,
A gun was heard,
And a man was killed
By a flying turd.
Pickle? Pickle!
There once was a man from Mantucket.
But he didn’t like Mantucket
So he went to Disney World
He then road all day and all night
To catch the masked porno stealer!
Die porno stealer he said
And he bashed the porno stealers nuts in with a shovel!
The porno man died
So Mr. Guy went back to Mantucket
And killed everyone cause he hated poor people.
Mantucket is the ghetto! God dam ghettoians!
The Blunt That Never Ends
Parody of “The Song That Never Ends” from Lambchop’s Playalong.
–
This is the blunt that never ends
It goes on and on my friends
Some people started smoking it
Not knowing what it was
And kept on smoking it
Just because (because because because)
(Continue from the top)
A Father Goose Rhyme
Parody of “Hey Diddle Diddle”
–
Hi, diddle, diddle, the fish and the fiddle.
The turds jumped over the goon.
The little dog laughed to see such a sport,
And the dish ran away with the loon.
The 7up Song
It’s 7up,
yea it’s the up thing.
It’s 7up,
does it everytime.
It’s 7up,
yea it’s the up thing
cuz it’s cool
and it’s wonderful
and it’s lemon and lime
The Coca Cola Classic Song
The sun will always shine,
the birds’ll always sing.
As long as there is this there’s always the real thing.
Coca Cola Classic…
always the one.
When ever there is this
there’s always the real thing.
Dodododo always Coca Cola
The Two Monkeys
A song a about two monkeys,
sitting on a branch,
picking each others backs
and making weied monkey sounds all day..
and slit the other ones throat
and made its fur into a fur coat
and sold it onto Ebay
Wonder Bra
Old men,
with baggy saggy tits,
are stupid,
and Alchololics..
They need a Wonderbra,
to fully suppoort
their moldy nasty
old nipples..