HANK: “How did you do at the track today, Frank?”
FRANK: “Not too good. Some folks play a horse to win, some to place, and some to show. But I should have bet my horse to live!”
Category Archives: (C) Sports Jokes
Joke #12145
Did you hear about the really rich football player who has an unlisted number on his jersey?
Joke #12144
Football is a game where some player takes home the goal post while some others take home a part of the gate.
Joke #12143
One horse player to another: “I bet on a horse today that went off at ten to one. He came in around a quarter to three.”
Joke #12142
A professional baseball player, after being called out on a close play at home, stormed over to the umpire and shouted, “Collins, you’re the second best umpire in the league.”
To say the least, the umpire was astonished. “Thanks for the compliment,” he said.
“It’s no compliment,” snapped the player. “All the other umpires in the league are tied for first.”
Joke #12141
Don’t think I’m not athletic just because I’m skinny. In school, the coach begged me to join the track team. He needed another javelin.
Joke #12139
Then there was the playboy-baseball player who lost his batting eye because he couldn’t stay away from curves.
Joke #12138
Did you hear about the pitcher who punched the batter who homered? His mother always told him, “If someone hits, you hit him back.”
Joke #12137
HOCKEY PLAYER: “Last year I broke my nose in six places.”
REPORTER: “That’s impossible.”
HOCKEY PLAYER: “No, it isn’t. I broke it in Montreal, New York, Chicago, Atlanta, Los Angeles, and Philadelphia.”
Joke #12135
A golfer teed his ball, then said to his partner, “You can make this hole in one long drive and one putt.” He took a swing at the ball and ball rolled off the tee around three feet. Undaunted he said, “Now for one heck of a putt.”
Joke #12134
A baseball rookie was trying on his new uniform before his first game in the majors. He said to his manager, “This cap seems a little too large.”
His manager shot back, “See that it stays that way.”
Joke #12133
Two men start a conversation at a baseball game. The first says, “My favorite sport is football. What’s yours?”
The other fellow replies, “I think hockey is great. I’m a dentist!”
Joke #12131
The baseball manager rushed out on to the field and yelled at the umpire, “Fred, I’m not really mad at you, but my Mom is in the stand and I want her to see me in action.”
Joke #12130
Did you hear about the football player who was so dumb that once he got lost in a huddle?
Joke #12129
A battered and bruised man told his lawyer, “Las night I came home late and my wife hit me with a baseball bat. After she finished hitting me, her four brothers took turns hitting me with the bat. Next, her mother hit me with the baseball bat. Is that legal?”
His lawyer thought a moment, then replied, “Yes and no. Yes, it’s legal for your wife to hit you, but no, it’s not legal to bring in so many pinch hitters.”