POLICEMAN: “Your driver’s license says you should be wearing glasses.”
MOTORIST: “I have contacts.”
POLICEMAN: “I don’t care how much pull you’ve got, you’re still getting a ticket.”
Category Archives: Jokes
The whole Joke archive. Tons of jokes!
Joke #18316
OFFICER: “You can’t park there!”
DRIVER: “Why not? The sign says ‘Fine for Parking.'”
Joke #18315
TRAFFIC COP: “Why didn’t you stop when I blew my whistle?”
DRIVER: “I’m a little deaf.”
TRAFFIC COP: “Don’t worry, you’ll get your hearing tomorrow.”
Joke #18314
Q: Where do they put thieving tomatoes?
A: Behind salad bars.
Joke #18313
Q: Where do cabbages go after they’re arrested?
A: To a court of slaw.
Joke #18312
Q: What did the oyster say to the gem?
A: “What’s a nice pearl like you doing in a place like this?”
Joke #18311
Q: How are hamburgers sent to jail?
A: In a patty wagon.
Joke #18310
Q: How do you grill hamburgers?
A: First, you read them their rights…
Joke #18309
Q: What did the pancake say to the syrup?
A: “Stick with me — you’ll go places.”
Joke #18308
Q: What did one bath toy say to the other bath toy?
A: “You rubber duckie me the wrong way!”
Joke #18307
Q: What would you get if you crossed stinking yellow slime with good-for-nothing green slime?
A: Stinking good-for-nothing yellow-green slime.
Joke #18306
Q: What do you get when you spill vinegar on the curtains?
A: Sour drapes (grapes).
Joke #18305
Q: What cartoon animal weighs the least?
A: Skinny-the-Pooh
Joke #18304
Q: Where does pasta go to lose weight?
A: Spa-ghettis.
Joke #18303
Q: What did medieval cannibals eat for dinner?
A: Peasant Under Glass.