Little-League Vampire: Dad, what’s the best way to hold a bat?
Father Vampire: By the wings, son.
Category Archives: Jokes
The whole Joke archive. Tons of jokes!
Joke #11531
Q: How should a girl flirt with a baseball player?
A: Bat her eyelashes.
Joke #11530
Q: Why was the new shortstop like Cinderella?
A: He ran away from the ball.
Joke #11529
For homework, the teacher asked her students to make a list of nine great Americans.
The next day, everyone handed in their papers except Bobby.
“Bobby, couldn’t you finish the assignment?” the teacher asked.
“I got eight of them,” Bobby answered. “But I just couldn’t decide on the second baseman.”
Joke #11528
Q: Why does a baseball pitcher raise one leg when he pitches?
A: If he raised both legs, he would fall down.
Joke #11527
Q: Where is the headquarters of the Umpires’ Association?
A: The Umpire State Building.
Joke #11526
Little Leaguer: Dad, what does a ballplayer do when his eyesight starts going bad?
Dad: He gets a job as an umpire.
Joke #11525
First Boy: Wow! It’s a run-home!
Second Boy: You mean a home run.
First Boy: No, I mean a run-home. You just hit the ball through the neighbor’s window!
Joke #11524
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Homer.
Homer who?
Homer flew right out of the ballpark.
Joke #11523
There was an umpire who was famous for wandering all over the baseball diamond.
During one game, he got hit on the head by a foul ball and fell down.
The catche rsaid, “We’ve just witnessed the fall of the roamin’ umpire.”
Joke #11522
Two baseball teams played a game. One team won without a man touching home base. How?
They were all-girl teams.
Joke #11521
Q: When does a baseball player wear armor?
A: To play the knight games.
Joke #11520
Q: Why couldn’t they sell soda pop at the doubleheader?
A: The home team lost the opener.
Joke #11518
Game Warden: Didn’t you see the sign? It says, “No Fishing.”
Boy: I’m not fishing. I’m teaching these worms how to swim.
Joke #11517
A group of hikers were being led through the wilderness by a guide.
On the third day, the hikers noticed they had been traveling in circles.
“We’re lost!” one hiker complained. “And you said you were the best guide in the United States.”
“I am,” the guide answered, “but I think we may have wandered into Canada.”