Is this party dull? Let me put it this way. There’s a livelier wake going on down the street.
Category Archives: Jokes
The whole Joke archive. Tons of jokes!
Joke #11928
Here’s a word to the wise, for counterfeiters: Never hold onto the first dollar you ever made. It can be used as evidence against you.
Joke #11927
Musicians who have a number-one tune are able to buy whatever they want for a song.
Joke #11926
WOMAN: “Joe is a considerate husband. he takes his wife out to eat almost every night.”
MAN: “Considerate? Baloney! Joe’s wife is the world’s worst cook.”
Joke #11925
OVERHEARD: “My aunt’s diet is a strange one. She only eats bananas and coconuts. She hasn’t lost any pounds, but wow, you should see that woman climb trees!”
Joke #11924
I had F.B.I. Crispies for breakfast this morning. When I poured milk on the cereal, it didn’t talk; it interrogated me.
Joke #11923
MAN: “I always win at cards and lose at the race track.”
LADY: “Why is that?”
MAN: “Because I don’t get to shuffle the horses.”
Joke #11922
My day started off bad. This morning I slept right through the alarm. To make matters worse it was my smoke alarm. You can’t imagine how depressing it is to open your eyes the first thing in the morning and find yourself ten stories up on a ladder over a fireman’s shoulder.
Joke #11921
A psychiatrist was testing the mentality of a patient.
“Do you ever hear voices without being able to tell who is speaking or where the voices are coming from?” asked the psychiatrist.
“As a matter of fact, I do,” said the patient.
“And when does this happen?” asked the psychiatrist.
“Oh,” said the patient, “when I answer the telephone.”
Joke #11920
Receptionist: Hello? Dr. Sickman’s office. May I help you?
Caller: Yes! I feel funny. What should I do?
Receptionist: Try to get on television.
Joke #11919
Q: What do you call the sound a ghost makes when he calls you?
A: A phone moan.
Joke #11918
Q: What did the big ape say when he dialed incorrectly?
A: “Oops! King Kong ring wrong.”
Joke #11917
Q: How does a skeleton make calls?
A: On a bone phone!
Joke #11916
Q: How does a baboon make phone calls?
A: He just monkeys around on the line!
Joke #11915
Q: How does a barber make phone calls?
A: He cuts them short.