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Category Archives: Jokes
The whole Joke archive. Tons of jokes!
Joke #12495
Politicians are carefree when it comes to junkets. They don’t care where they go as long as it’s free.
Joke #12494
An exclusive neighborhood is a place where the rents are high and the noses are even higher.
Joke #12493
Inflation is worse than I thought. Last week I beat a one-armed bandit in Las Vegas, and the slot machine paid me off in I.O.U.’s.
Joke #12492
We know a fellow with really bad luck. Last week he bought a suit with four pairs of pants and he burned a hole in his jacket.
Joke #12491
A young man wanted to marry a comedian’s daughter. “Sir,” said the young man, “may I have your daughter for my wife?”
The comic, a widower for many years, replied, “If your wife can cook and clean house, it’s a deal.”
Joke #12490
Why is that mailmen can’t help dropping packages marked: “Fragile — Handle With Care”?
Joke #12488
“You’re very beautiful,” the boss said to the new secretary. “I’ll bet a lot of men ask you for dates.”
The girl smiled sweetly and replied, “Yes, but I don’t go out with anyone I find unattractive. I let them down nicely by telling them I’m married.”
The boss nodded. “That makes sense. Say, are you busy Saturday night?”
“Yes,” she answered, “I’m getting married.”
Joke #12487
TEDDY: “Will you marry me, my darling?”
TINA: “I’m not sure. You’ve been married five times and I’ve heard some nasty stories about you.”
TEDDY: “Don’t believe any of them. Those stores are nothing, but old wives’ tales.”
Joke #12486
THINGS THAT DRIVE WOMEN CRAZY: You spend your hard-earned money on expensive perfume to impress your boyfriend, and he shows up for your big date with a head cold and a clogged-up nose.
Joke #12485
Here’s some advice for would-be playboys: “To date a bunny, you have to have plenty of lettuce.”
Joke #12484
JAKE: “Moe, if you loan me five thousand dollars, I’ll be everlastingly indebted to you.”
MOE: “That’s what I’m afraid of.”
Joke #12482
Talk about looking a gift horse in the mouth. The other day I asked my boss, “What’s the first thing you would do if someone gave you a million dollars?”
And you know what the boss replied? “I’d count it to make sure it was all there.”
Joke #12481
Did you hear about the man who owned a china shop and complained continually because he got all of the breaks?
Joke #12479
Did you hear about the drip who had his brain waves measured and they didn’t amount to a puddle?