JUDY: “My boyfriend is a leader of men.”
KATE: “You’re lucky. Mine is a follower of women.”
The whole Joke archive. Tons of jokes!
JUDY: “My boyfriend is a leader of men.”
KATE: “You’re lucky. Mine is a follower of women.”
“My last boyfriend was so conceited, one night he got down on his knees and proposed.”
“What’s so conceited about that?”
“He proposed to himself!”
I finally found a way to get back at my postman for slow service. I mailed him his Christmas gift.
More and more people are getting divorced these days. That’s because now it’s easier to get divorced than ever before. Pretty soon they’ll do away with divorce all together and just give money-back guarantees on marriages.
I have a buddy who is so tough that he once punched a tub of margarine because he didn’t like the way it said, “Butter” to him.
I heard about a dairy farmer who became a millionaire by investing in cheese and putting all his profits in Swiss cheese banks.
Do you want to know a way to drive people crazy? Walk up to a complete stranger and say, “It’s good to see you again, you lucky dog. So, you finally struck it rich! Well, see you at the reading of the will.”
Then rush away before that person can say anything.
There’s a horse out in Hollywood who has made 10 pictures. He’s not a star. He just does bit parts.
Q: What is a crick?
A: That’s the noise a Japanese camera makes.
They just opened up a place for aged, broken down Volkswagens. It’s an Old Volks Home.
Q: What did the robot say when he ran out of electricity?
A: “AC come, AC go.”
My boss is so cheap, her purse has rusted shut.
MR. DUNKLEY: “Why is this letter so damp?”
MRS. DUNKLEY: “Maybe there’s postage dew.”
How about that Rock and Roll singer whose last record was a big flop? His manager says he’s suffering from a slipped disc.
Then there was the teenaged son of a farmer who didn’t want to plant any more crops. He claimed it was too corny.