Q: What do you call a redneck with indigestion?
A: A hick-up.
Q: What do you call a redneck with indigestion?
A: A hick-up.
Q: What’s the difference between a book and a Mexican?
A: A book has papers.
Back in the old Wild West, there were two blond cowpokes, Jeff and Dave. One day, the two were enjoying a strong sasparilla in the local saloon, when a man walked into the bar with an Indian’s head under his arm.
The barman shakes his hand and says, “I hate Indians; last week the bastards burnt my barn to the ground, assaulted my wife and killed my children.” He then says, “If any man brings me the head of an Indian, I’ll give him one thousand dollars.”
The two blonds looked at each other and walked out of the bar to go hunting for an Indian. They were walking around for a while when suddenly they saw one; Jeff threw a rock which hit the Indian right on the head.
The Indian fell off his horse, but landed seventy feet down a ravine. The two nuts made their way down the ravine where Dave pulled out a knife to claim their trophy.
Suddenly, Jeff said, “Dave, take a look at this.” Dave replied, “Not now, I’m busy.”
Jeff tugged him on the shoulder and says, “I really think you should look at this.”
Dave said, “Look, you can see I’m busy. There’s a thousand dollars in my hand.”
But Jeff was adamant. “Please, Dave, take a look at this.”
So Dave looked up and saw that standing at the top of the ravine were five thousand red Indians.
Dave just shook his head and said, “Oh . . . my . . . God . . . we’re going to be millionaires!”
“Reading that John Grisham book made me want to live on a cotton farm.”
“Why would you want to live on a cotton farm?”
“So I can have my own Mexicans”
Q: What is forty feet long and has eight teeth?
A: The front row at a Willie Nelson concert.
A 6’8″, 280-pound black man walked into a bar, sat down next to a white guy, and said, “I’s big and I’s black and I love to fuck white women!” The guy was so terrified that he put down his beer and ran out of the bar.
The black man moved over next to another white man and said, “I’s big and I’s black and I just loves to fuck white women.” The white guy took one look at him, blanched, and ran out of the bar.
The black then went over to a Polish man who was having a few at the bar and said, “I’s big and I’s black and I loves to fuck white women.”
The Polish man looked at him and said,”I don’t blame you one bit. I wouldn’t fuck a black one either.”
Q: Why do white people like to have sex in front of the mirror?
A: Objects may be larger than they appear.
Q: What happens when you stick your hand in a jar full of jelly beans?
A: The black ones take your watch
Q: How do you blindfold an Asian?
A: With dental floss
Q: Why is the Afghan Air Force easy to train?
A: You only need to teach them how to take off
Q: Why is a black person like a vending machine?
A: Neither work, but both take your money
Q: How do you make a black guy wear a condom?
A: By putting a Nike logo on it
Q: Why don’t black people like heavy metal?
A: They get enough of it in jail.
Q: How do you know an Asian broke into your house?
A: When your computeer is upgraded, homework is done, and he’s still trying to back out of the driveway.
Q: How do you starve a Phillipino?
A: Lock up their dogs