EXPLAIN THIS: A man who takes money out of a man’s pocket without permission is a pickpocket. A woman who takes money out of a man’s pockets without permission is a wife.
Category Archives: (C) Offensive Jokes
Jokes that are more or less offensive.
Joke #12873
I can tell you how Mr. Webster began his dictionary. One night Noah got into an argument with his wife and one word led to another.
Joke #12872
“It took me so long to learn the ropes at work,” said the clerk, “I ended up hanging myself.”
Joke #12861
Did you hear the story about the divorcee who was concerned about ecology? She got married eight times because she wanted to keep recycling husbands.
Joke #12858
The other day I met a politician who must have been campaigning too hard. I saw him shake a baby and kiss a man’s hand.
Joke #12855
A man should never marry a pretty woman. He should always marry an ugly woman. If a man marries a pretty woman and in a few months she gets tired of him and she runs off, he’s heartbroken. An ugly woman might run away too, but who cares?
Joke #12853
JOE: “I don’t expect too much from a girl. I just want a girl who’ll walk up to me, look me in the eye and love what she sees.”
MOE: “You don’t want a girl. You want a blind midget.”
Joke #12850
SALLY: “I just can’t find the man who’ll make me the perfect husband.”
TILLIE: “Maybe you’re asking too much.”
SALLY: “Nonsense! Al I’m looking for is a man who’s kind and understanding. Is that too much to ask of a millionaire?”
Joke #12797
Q: What do you get if you cross a woman with a goat?
A: A lady who’s always butting into other people’s affairs.
Joke #12778
Q: How do you make a woman explode?
A: Try dropping one.
Joke #12773
Q: Did you hear about the lady who was proud to call herself a housewife?
A: She was married to Matthew J. House, a wealthy businessman.
Joke #12743
My husband is killing himself trying to keep up with the Joneses. They’re joggers.
Joke #12739
JUDY: “My boyfriend is a leader of men.”
KATE: “You’re lucky. Mine is a follower of women.”
Joke #12727
Q: What is a crick?
A: That’s the noise a Japanese camera makes.
Joke #12711
OVERHEARD: “I want a man who’s clever enough to make a lot of money, and dumb enough to spend it all on me.”