All posts by davepoobond

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The Case of the Missing Coat of Arms

I was stupid in 6th grade and thought it would be funny that I should make this like a Scooby Doo mystery. Remember, I made this in 1997, when I was in 6th grade…

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On September 4, 1994 King Arthur’s coat of arms was stolen. Detective Sam Smith was at his desk filing a report on some “punk” he caught on Main St. when the Sheriff came up to him and said “Smith, King Arthur’s Coat of guns were stolen!” Det. Smith said, “I believe that is coat of armor sir.” “No” said the Sheriff “it says coat of arms so I’m thinking that someone stole the guns to take over the world!” Det. Smith said, “OK I’ll take the task, but, before I leave, it’s armor that was stolen.” “Guns” said the Sheriff, but Det. Smith was in his Viper before he said it.

When he got to the scene of the crime no one was there. In a distant tunnel there was a bunch of photographers on top of a crashed car taking pictures of the car. Det. Smith thought nothing of it. He went inside the castle and there was King Arthur’s coat of arms! Then out of nowhere, a monster came out of the darkness! Det. Smith started running. As Det. Smith ran down the endless corridor he saw a lot of chandeliers. He thought maybe he could trap the guy by cutting a rope and trapping the monster inside like the cartoons!

When he had a chance he cut the rope on a chandelier he captured the monster, then he said, “It’s time to unmask you. He took off a mask and he said, “Don Knotts?”

He thought and said, “Hey wait a minute.” He tool off tons of masks. It sorta went in this order: Don Knotts, Scooby Doo, The Creature from the Black Lagoon, Michael Jackson, Bugs Bunny, Bigfoot, and millions of others. Then the crook said, “Enough with the masks!!!” Then the crook took off the remaining masks. Det. Smith said, “Sheriff? Why did you do it Sheriff?” The “Sheriff” said, “Why do you think …. Because I’m evil ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!” “Sorry whoever you are but you’re going to jail!

THE END

Natural Selection

The values that the experiments created facts that weren’t known, and repeated would just be silly. The scientist could have been stupid and didn’t wash his hands or got other germs into the experiment. The moss. Because it was being tested. The top was always exposed to the sun. They died. The moths evolved to not have the paint on them and his name was Sally. Frogs and dark-colored trees. The ones that weren’t colored like the tree. Yes, because it does. White moth, dark moth. No. They died. Neither. White. Because it makes sense. A lot of the white moths die or get eaten faster.

Descriptive Writing Thingy

#1: It was the best date i ever had. He had the most gorgeous features that were as charming as a prince. And had the most muscular body in the world. I’m kinda disappointed actually at how he looks. He looks OK, but not great. He’s got a unibrow. We went to the Glendale Marketplace. The crowds gave us a cozy feeling as we walked by the rows of cute stores and restaraunts. Bands were playing, and the smell of food from the small shops gave us a feeling of hunger. We ate and he took me back to my mansion. We kissed good night and as he walked away, that’s when it happened! He changed into a rabbit, hopped into his car and drove away with nothing more than a twitch of his nose, no goodbye. I wonder if i’ll ever see him again… #2: It was the best date i ever had. She was beautiful, her short hair was cute and her glasses made her intelligent. Her hair was so beautiful when it waved in the wind. When i saw her for the first time i knew things would go great for us. Our first date was not truly a date because we meet on a plane and were on our way to Paris.

She was a rich person, but that’s what you get when you date a movie star, and she was the only person that thought the patch on my eye looked good and i should have a big ol’ parrot to go with it, so she suggested that we could go and catch one in the rainforest one day.

As we got off the plane, we instantly saw the Eiffel Tower, and it was a fantatstic sight. Looking out onto sunlite Paris, I turned to my date and exposed a rose I had hidden in my coat, i handed it to her and she kissed me. I can’t remember anything after that, i was boozed up.

I woke the next morning with a headache and thought to myself, i probably had a nice night after i got drunk, since i couldn’t remember anything.

Sean’s Breakfast

Sean wanted a quick breakfast so he bought a box of Honey-Wheat Flakes instant cereal. Wheat is nutritious and honey is better for you than cane sugar, he thought. But when he read the food label at home, he saw that the first ingredient in the cereal was actually sugar. Honey was fourth on the list. The wheat in the cereal was really enriched wheat rather than whole wheat. The cereal didn’t seem so nutritious after all. Next time, Sean thought, I’ll read the label before I buy the product.

Lesson For Life

During my second month of nursing school, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions, until I read the last one:

 

“What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?”

 

Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name?

 

I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade.

 

“Absolutely,” said the professor. “In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say ‘hello’.”

 

I’ve never forgotten that lesson. I’ve also never forgotten her name was Dorothy.

Hang Onto Each Other

Too often we feel alone. But there is always someone ready to take our hand. There is a beautiful story of an overworked nurse who escorted a tired, young man to her patient’s bedside. Leaning over and speaking loudly to the elderly patient, she said, “Your son is here.”

 

With great effort, his unfocussed eyes opened, then flickered shut again. The young man squeezed the aged hand in his and sat beside the bed. Throughout the night he sat there, holding the old man’s hand and whispering words of comfort.

 

By morning’s light, the patient had died. In moments, hospital staff swarmed into the room to turn off machines and remove needles. The nurse stepped over to the young man’s side and began to offer sympathy, but he interrupted her.

 

“Who was that man?” he asked.

 

The startled nurse replied, “I thought he was your father!” “No, he was not my father”, he answered. I never saw him before in my life.” “Then, why didn’t you say something when I took you to him?”

 

“I realized he needed his son and his son wasn’t here”, the man explained. “And since he was too sick to recognize that I was not his son, I knew he needed me.”

 

Mother Teresa used to remind us that nobody should have to die alone. Likewise, nobody should have to grieve alone or cry alone either. Or laugh alone or celebrate alone.

 

We are made to travel life’s journey hand in hand. There is someone ready to grasp your hand today. And someone hoping you will take theirs. Remember To Hang On To One Another!

Dominant Genes

Mr. Oliver has curly hair, which is dominant trait (C). Mrs. Oliver also has curly hair. Mr. Oliver has two dominant genes (Cc) and Mrs. Oliver has one dominant gene and one recessive gene (Cc), their child might have either combination, CC or Cc. Because there are no cc or straight hair combinations, all their children will have curly hair.

Mr. Kim is tall, which is a dominant trait (T). Mrs. Kim is short, which is recessive trait (t). Mr. Kim has two recessive genes (tt).

Mr. Sandez has green eyes, which is a recessive trait (b). Mrs. Sandez has brown eyes, which is a dominant trait (B). Mr. Sandez has two recessive genes (bb) and Mr. Sandez has two dominant genes (BB)

Family Ties

It is 1960. Lawrence and Madeleine are married and have no children. Suzanne and Bill are married and have two children, Jeff (a child from Bill’s previous marriage) and Abbey. In 1961, Madeleine dies, and Suzanne and Bill divorce. Suzanne gets custody of Abbey; Bill gets custody of Jeff.

In 1965, Lawrence marries Suzanne and adopts Abbey. A few years later, Lawrence and Suzanne have 2 daughters, Christine and Cynthia. Bill also remarried, and he and his wife, Margaret, have 2 songs, Thomas and Bill Jr.

In 1975, Suzanne dies

In 1980, Lawrence marries Karen. Abbey and her husband of two years have their first child.

In 1982, Karen and Lawrence have twins, Janet and Jeanine.

In 1985, all of the “relatives” gather for Lawrence’s funeral.

We Grow Great By Dreams

“We grow great by dreams. All big men are dreamers. They see things in the soft haze of a spring day or in the red fire of a long winter’s evening. Some of us let these great dreams die, but others nourish and protect them; nurse them through bad days till they bring them to the sunshine and light which comes always to those who sincerely hope that their dreams will come true.”

– Woodrow Wilson, 28th US President

The Mountain Story

“A son and his father were walking on the mountains.

Suddenly, his son falls, hurts himself and screams: “AAAhhhhhhhhhhh!!!”

To his surprise, he hears the voice repeating, somewhere in the mountain:

“AAAhhhhhhhhhhh!!!”

Curious, he yells: “Who are you?”

He receives the answer: “Who are you?”

And then he screams to the mountain: “I admire you!”

The voice answers: “I admire you!”

Angered at the response, he screams: “Coward!”

He receives the answer: “Coward!”

He looks to his father and asks: “What’s going on?”

The father smiles and says: “My son, pay attention.”

Again the man screams: “You are a champion!”

The voice answers: “You are a champion!”

The boy is surprised, but does not understand.

Then the father explains: “People call this ECHO, but really this is LIFE.

It gives you back everything you say or do.

Our life is simply a reflection of our actions.

If you want more love in the world, create more love in your heart.

If you want more competence in your team, improve your competence.

This relationship applies to everything, in all aspects of life;

Life will give you back everything you have given to it.”

YOUR LIFE IS NOT A COINCIDENCE. IT’S A REFLECTION OF YOU!”

 

 

— Unknown Author