Did you hear about the patient who was in the hospital so long that by the time they cured his illness, he was suffering from snow blindness?
All posts by davepoobond
Joke #12287
Hospitals take advantage of sick people. They make them eat food a healthy person would never touch.
Joke #12286
After hearing a patient’s complaint, the psychiatrist said, “You’ll just have to forget your imaginary illnesses. Try to devote yourself fully to your job. In fact, it might be a good idea if you lost yourself completely in your work.”
“It might not be such a good idea,” replied the patient. “I’m a deep sea diver.”
Joke #12285
PATIENT (on phone): “Doctor, I’ve decided to kill myself.”
PSYCHIATRIST: “Don’t do anything rash until you answer one question for me.”
PATIENT: “What’s that?”
PSYCHIATRIST: “Is your bill paid?”
Joke #12284
Did you hear about the android who went to see a psychiatrist? His friends told him he had a screw loose upstairs.
Joke #12283
“Seeing a psychiatrist certainly cured my drinking problem,” a man boasted to his pal. “The sessions cost so much, I can’t afford to buy liquor anymore.”
Joke #12282
PATIENT: “Is it true, Doc, you make a lot of money?”
DOCTOR: “You bet I do. Would you want to trust your health to a doctor who didn’t make a sack of dough?”
Joke #12281
Nowadays, a minor operation is one that is happening to someone else.
Joke #12280
A patient in the local hospital was really angry. He called his doctor and told him, “That dumb nurse came into my room last night and plugged my electric blanket into the automatic toaster on my night table and every five minutes I kept popping out of the darned bed!”
Quote #12278
“There’s a point… where you become TOO good…”
– Zsal
Joke #12266
Q: Why did they send a dancer to the moon?
A: They wanted someone who could moonwalk.
Joke #12265
Q: What don’t you want to do when your friend is being attacked by vampires?
A: Stick your neck out for him.
Joke #12264
Q: What do you call a wall where someone died at?
A: A dead end.
Return of Old Dacky and The Monoverse
Old Dacky has returned! I’ve remade the logo to be more pleasant, and I’ve been meaning to dump the “new Dacky” in favor of the old one after I’ve gotten some feedback as to whether my own artist’s rendition of Dacky was a good direction to go. Apparently it was not, but that doesn’t mean I won’t draw my own version of Dacky again sometime. It probably won’t matter. We’ll call my Dacky, “Dacky Jr.” from now on. Dacky Jr. has gone on vacation in Europe and has decided to elope with French women.
I also am announcing the release of my new web site idea called The Monoverse. The Monoverse is a non-linear sci-fi story and will be constantly be added to. There are a number of articles already up and if it interests you, keep it in mind — or even comment on some of the posts if you’d like me to expand upon certain aspects that I may not have answered.
Joke #12254
A wise man never walks away from a fight. He runs away from it.