Everyone knows the birthday song, and quite frankly it sucks. The only reason you want to sing it is to get to the fun part at the end where you just go on forever making up stupid shit.
I don’t know why you start singing about what’s on television, though.
–
And many more, on Channel 4
And Scooby Doo, on Channel 2
And Frankenstein, on Channel 9
And a naked lady, on Channel 80
And you will be, on Channel 3
This is the version of the playground rhyme that I remember from my elementary school. There are obviously a lot of variations.
–
First the worst
Second the best
Third the nerd
Fourth the one with the hairy chest
Fifth the bitch
Sixth the snitch
Seventh goes to heaven
Eighth goes naked
Back in the year 2000, I was hosting Squackle at Angelfire, which was/is a free web host. I got this e-mail and decided to have fun with them.
–
>>>From: “Angelfire Staff” <staff@angelfire.com>
>>>Subject: Password check
>>>Date: Thu, 18 May 2000 20:21:08 -0700
To ensure that your site, http://www.angelfire.com/ca4/squackle , is maintained properly, we periodically request that the webmaster of each site verify his or her password with Angelfire. Please send your username, along with your password, to zoopx9@hotmail.com, my personal address, so that I can make sure everything is in order. We hope you continue to use Angelfire to host your webpages in the future.
Sincerely,
Karl
Angelfire staff
–
>>>To: zoopx9@hotmail.com
>>>Subject: Re: Password check
>>>Date: Sat, 20 May 2000 08:13:59 PDT
hi! how are you! my password is: jungjung and my directory is biz/poopers
thank for making me safer on angelfire!
–
>>>From: “Tim Groves” <zoopx9@hotmail.com>
>>>Subject: Re: Password check
>>>Date: Sat, 20 May 2000 12:04:02 PDT
Hello again. I received your e-mail containing the directory and password for your site at Angelfire. However, the information was inaccurate. Please verify that what you sent was correct and resend it. We appreciate your cooperation, and thank you for using Angelfire.
Sincerely,
Karl
Angelfire Staff
“The moving ocean of people and lights gave the affect of a rustling army of darkness combating the unforeseen holy forces of light, because they’re in the light and this is a bad sentence.87”
– davepoobond
“The last time I was incognito was when I had played Heads Up Seven Up in 4th grade. I said I didn’t chose someone that guessed me when I actually did.”
– davepoobond
“An example of irony was the time when I was making a joke about the punctuational use of a period, but was taken as a joke about women.”
– davepoobond
“My friends appeared gauche in my presence by talking in slang, and not keeping the right grammatical structures we learn so well in Miss Horny’s class.”
– davepoobond
“The last epiphany I had was when I finally realized I had armpit hair in 8th grade. I had not noticed it beforehand.”
– davepoobond
“To have orthography, you have to build up an actual care for having all of your words spelled write, and use sensefully in a grammatical stand point.”
– davepoobond
“I will not have a quotidian life because I will want to make myself have a different experience every day, as I do not wish to have a boring life.”
– davepoobond
“Miss Horny is on a power trip, so she used Johnny as an example for her expression of power, by threatening to suspend him for three days in front of the class.”
– davepoobond
“I had insulted someone to the point they started crying, so I had to say I was sorry, and everything was ok.”
– davepoobond
“One day I was walking home from school, when all of a sudden somebody came over to me. He took my glasses and stomped on them. He took my clothes off and then burned them while I watched mournfully at the bon fire in front of me. I cried for 3 weeks straight afterwards.”
– davepoobond
“A juggler would have a moiety of time to catch each ball he is juggling and then throwing it back up.”
– davepoobond
“Spare me the stupid visits from cops once every month for about a year, you’re just making us aware of what drugs are out there so we can be influenced to go and try them.”
– davepoobond