Fan Mail #8593

From : “Sugar-Butter”

To :

Subject : your site is ridiculus

Date : Tue, 04 Feb 2003 22:01:02 +0000

dave, we are college students in boston and think your site is wicked funny. my friend and i have been reading it for the past hour and dying laughing. i cried. my friend billy and i think that you are really fucked up for only being seventeen and would like to advise you to not induldge in anymore acid, mushrooms or angel dust. But if you do, please write to us and make us laugh. Billy says he will send you some drugs if you want. he sayas they will expand your mind and enhance you senses. i think they will make you more bizarre than you already are, but that may not be a bad thing. in any case, it would be amusing for others. keep up the good work. We really liked your hamster song. thats when i cried. we also enjoyed “how to create a gang” and the story about the zoo. i am scared of birds. i think they will either split open in midair and fall on my head like a hat and then die or they will just explod bird organs on me and then die. i also find thier bone structure particulary revolting and am skeeved out by the fact that have hollow bones. Sometimes when i walk by a bird i feel like tey have attached themselvesd to the back of my head or my shirt or even my backpack. Occasionally when i walk by myself i will have to change sides of the road for fear that they will attack. especially sparrows. when billy and i went to disney we ate for free because wetold them that birds were attacking at every meal. it works because there can’t be any proof becuase thier disgusting little wings will lift them off into flight before the manager arrives. have you ever noticed how seagulls eyes are calculating but dead at the same time? i have. sometimes i throw things at them at the beach. other times i hide under a towel. my friends are embarresed, but i know they are ignorant of the birds real plan to simultaneously die in unison over our heads. hopefully you will heed my warning. ok i have to go . i was supposed to be studying for a statistics test but instead i was writting this shitty e-mail. good luck in high school.

davepoobond wrote this back (something like this):

wow. thanks for liking Squackle so much.

whether or not you believe it, even though it may seem like it, i really do not take any drugs.  scary, huh?

thanks, and hope you keep visiting Squackle!

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