Say You’ll Grow Hair

Parody of “Say You’ll Be There” by the Spice Girls.

Say you’ll grow hair…
Say you’ll grow hair…

I’m getting a new hair piece
For this boy I see
This I swear…

Last time, you had an evaluation
I decided that I’d fix your split ends…yeah
But now I just twist them up in circles
Tell me when this growing bald spot will end…

Now you – tell me that you’re using a glove
Well the Velcro it should work easily…
This time, you gotta rake it easy, gently part it-
There’s just too much lotion for me…
Any fool can see that it’s falling,
Gotta take this hair to the can…. (Yes I do, yeah)

I’m getting a new hair piece
For this boy I see,this I swear…
And… all that I want from you,
Is a wig or two, to be there… (Say you’ll grow hair!)

If you, glue 2 more hairs together
Then we’ll see – what this hair spray is for…
If you – can’t fight this bald invasion…
I’ll just make you sweep the hair off the floor.
There is no weave, too frayed or ugly
It would be better left on your head. (Yes it would, yeah)

I’m getting a new hair piece
For this boy I see… this I swear (Say you’ll grow hair!)
And… all that I want from you,
Is a wig or two, to be there. (Yeah, toupees too)

I’m getting a new hair piece
For this boy I see ,this I swear… (Say you’ll grow hair!)
And… all that I want from you,
Is a wig or two to be there.

 

Your Blind Date is a Dud If…

If you’re a fellow who goes out on a lot of blind dates, you’ve got to beware of real duds.  Your blind date is a dud if:

– She’s the kind of girl who uses too much perfume and not enough deodorant.

– She yells downstairs that she’ll be ready as soon as she finds her wig and false teeth.

– She sticks her bublegum behind her ear to kiss you hello.

– You have to stand on a chair to kiss her hello.

If you’re a girl who goes out on blind dates, you’ve got to beware of losers.  Girls, your blind date is a loser if:

– He has more hair on his face than he does on his head.

– He picks the lock of your front door instead of knocking.

– He shows up driving a hearse.

– He asks you if you’d like something to drink and takes you to the water fountain in the park.

– He takes you to a fancy restaurant wearing a tee shirt with another girl’s picture printed on it.

– When he meets your parents, he picks a fight with them.