Dream #23037: The Chip Dream

I wrote this in 2002.

I remember in a dream I had, that I was stuck somewhere listening to some guy who was talking about chips, and something about “maximum dipping power.”

He was explaining the measurements and junk about the chips and there was this other person saying “come on come on let’s go” to me, but I didn’t because I was interested.

Next I knew I was driving a car in a parking lot looking for a parking space.

Then I woke up.

 

Joke #18725

As I drove into a parking lot, I noticed that a pickup truck with a dog sitting behind the wheel was rolling toward a female pedestrian.

She seemed oblivious, so I hit my horn to get her attention.  She looked up just in time to jump out of the way of the truck’s path, and the vehicle bumped harmlessly into the curb and stopped.

I rushed to the woman’s side to see if she was all right.

“I’m fine,” she assured me, “but if that dog hadn’t honked…”

 

Joke #18545

My teenaged niece Elizabeth was nervous as she took the wheel for her first driving lesson.

As she was pulling out of the parking lot, the instructor said, “Turn left here, and don’t forget to let the people behind you know what you’re doing.”

Elizabeth turned to the students sitting in the backseat and announced, “I’m going left.”

 

Joke #18492

Seen in the parking lot of a brand new department store, painted on the ground at a crosswalk in letters 4 feet tall: YELD

Close, but not close enough. The next week I drove through the same parking lot and found it was changed. They had painted an I between the existing letters. Now it read YEILD.

About two months later they finally fixed it. The old lettering was painted over with black and freshly painted on top of that was the word STOP.