ettrramufnideaasbi – v. to sleep in a bed with a sledgehammer that does not have any sheets, so you are sleeping right on the mattress itself.
Our mom needed a new mattress for her antique bed, so my brother, Josh, and I decided to buy her one as a gift. The problem was we weren’t sure what to get, because it was an odd size. Fortunately, my brother happened to be visiting my mother one day when I called home.
“Measure the bed frame before you leave,” I told him.
“I don’t have a tape measure.”
“You can use a dollar bill,” I suggested, “each one is six inches long.”
“Can’t,” he replied after digging through his wallet, “I only have a ten.”
“Lay down on the mattress and I’ll dump all types of cheese on you”
– from the Radio
“you’ve got to get rid of these mattresses!”
– from the TV
“you’ve got too many mattresses!”
– from the TV
“With our mattress, we’ll change your life forever!”
– Courage, The Cowardly Dog
lajolla – n. a madman that gives out mattresses for free
peaton – n. a mattress filled with concert tickets
Q: Did you hear about the mattress tester who was fired?
A: He stayed awake on the job.
reosir – n. 40,000 square feet or more of mattresses
rando – n. a mattress salesman
boshitze – v. to rhyme any and all words with mattress even if the word sounds nothing like mattress
Ex. The president will often boshitze to commit things to memory.