Extended “Birthday Song” Lyrics

Everyone knows the birthday song, and quite frankly it sucks.  The only reason you want to sing it is to get to the fun part at the end where you just go on forever making up stupid shit.

I don’t know why you start singing about what’s on television, though.

And many more, on Channel 4

And Scooby Doo, on Channel 2

And Frankenstein, on Channel 9

And a naked lady, on Channel 80

And you will be, on Channel 3

 

Joke #5236: A Woman’s Wreck

A lady had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.

“My God!” the trooper gasped. “Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma’am?”

“Yes officer, I’m just fine!” the woman chirped.”Well, how in the world did this happen?” the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.

“Officer, it was the strangest thing!” the woman began. “I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I swerved to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was …”

“Uh, ma’am”, the officer said, cutting her off… “there isn’t a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth.”