acatendrames – v. to take a picture of a rabbit between January and April in Wyoming
davepoobond: WAIT A SECOND
davepoobond: DID YOU JUST SAY YOU WERE OUT OF SCHOOL
davepoobond: IN THE CHAT ROOM
SexiLilFreek096: ya y ?
SexiLilFreek096: well hi
davepoobond: well hi!
davepoobond: hi hi hi
SexiLilFreek096: hi hi hi
SexiLilFreek096: so were do u live
davepoobond: in my own world
davepoobond: called hell
davepoobond: i’m Satan, didn’t you know?
SexiLilFreek096: well if ur on the comp who’s watchin ova hell
davepoobond: hold on
davepoobond: i think its Bob Hope’s shift right now
SexiLilFreek096: r u outa skool
davepoobond: uhh yeah…i’ve been outta “skool” since i fell from Heaven
davepoobond: i got really bad grades
davepoobond: so i fell out of it
SexiLilFreek096: im out till january 5th
davepoobond: i’m out for eternity
davepoobond: y’know, being Satan and all
davepoobond: God doesn’t really want me back
SexiLilFreek096: o ya i c how it is
davepoobond: its a real bitch
SexiLilFreek096: well if ur satin u maust a’ got bad bad grades cause u cant spell ur own name
davepoobond: do you know what “satin” is?
davepoobond: “satin” is a type of textile
davepoobond: people WEAR satin
SexiLilFreek096: ya i no that
davepoobond: oh ok. glad we’re on the same page
davepoobond: gonna go torture some more souls
davepoobond: see ya later
davepoobond: by the way, go to www.squackle.com its got lots of stuff made by me (Satan). its an orgrasm
SexiLilFreek096: ight ur on my bl is that kool
davepoobond: sure ok
SexiLilFreek096: bye ttyl
” On Saturday, January 19, thousands of people came to see the Rose Parade in Pasadena — it was a fantastic parade this year! The floats were effective to the people that were there. There were so many flowers that you could smell them a mile away!”
Submitted through the Other submission form.
name = mystic faerie
email = erikaoneal11@
use_email = no
type = songs
title = death
submission = death, i long 4 u
the date of my death is Tuesday, January 24, 2073
i can prove it.
death,blood, death,blood ,death,blood ,death,blood!!!!!
National Plunge-Yourself-Into-Oblivion-Freaking-Out-About-The-Regents Day – n. a holiday that occurs on January 30th.
National Freak-Out-About-A-Presentation Day – n. a holiday that occurs on January 28th.
National Co-Deejay-A-Dance Day – n. a holiday that occurs on January 17th.
National Socializing Day – n. a holiday that occurs on January 11th.
National Elvis-Presley Day – n. a holiday that occurs on January 8th.
National First-Dance-Ever Day – n. a holiday that occurs on January 7th
National Leave-A-Dance-Before-It’s-Ended Day – n. a holiday that occurs on January 4th.
National End-A-Romance Day – n. a holiday that occurs on January 3rd.
National Realize-The-Romance-You-Have-Isn’t-Going-To-Work-Out-And-Move-On Day – n. a holiday that occurs on January 2nd
1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they’re serving rum balls.
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it’s rare. In fact, it’s even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can’t find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that has 10,000 calories in every sip? It’s not as if you’re going to turn into an eggnog-aholic or something. It’s a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It’s later than you think. It’s Christmas!
3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That’s the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they’re made with skim milk or whole milk. If it’s skim, pass. Why bother? It’s like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.
5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people’s food for free. Lots of it. Hello?
6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year’s. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you’ll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.
7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don’t budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They’re like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you’re never going to see them again.
8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don’t like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?
9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it’s loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.
10. One final tip: If you don’t feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven’t been paying attention.
Q: If April showers bring May flowers, what do January blizzards bring?
A: Lots and lots of snow!