Joke #18727

Because an increasing number of people are having heart attacks while gambling, the big, high-class casinos are now equipped with sophisticated defibrillators.

They are computer-controlled to deliver the exact electric shock needed to revive a heart attack victim. That is, if you’re at a big, high-class casino.

At the cheaper casinos downtown, they just drag you across the carpet and touch your finger to the doorknob.

 

Joke #18392

Although this married couple enjoyed their new fishing boat together, it was the husband who was behind the wheel operating the boat. He was concerned about what might happen in an emergency. So one day out on the lake he said to his wife, “Please take the wheel, dear. Pretend that I am having a heart attack. You must get the boat safely to shore and dock it.”

So she drove the boat to shore.

Later that evening, the wife walked into the living room where her husband was watching television. She sat down next to him,
switched the TV channel, and said to him, “Please go into the kitchen, dear. Pretend I’m having a heart attack and set the table, cook dinner and wash the dishes.”

 

Joke #9265: Wild Hearts Can Be Broken

A blonde man comes home from work and hears his wife yelling. He runs up the stairs and finds her in bed naked; the blonde asks his wife what’s wrong.

She says she’s having a heart attack. He runs downstairs to call 911 where he finds his 5 year old son.

The boy cries, “Daddy, uncle’s in the closet naked!”

So the dolt runs back upstairs and opens the closet and sure enough there was his brother naked in his closet.

“I can’t believe it!” he yells, “My wife has an emergency and you’re running around scaring the kids!”