The Magical Dishwasher

One day a garbage collector, who was a female, was working, collecting garbage.

When she got to the old blue house, she exclaimed “why is there a dishwasher in front of this old blue house?”

Little did she know, the dishwasher was a magical dishwasher.  Once she held the dishwasher in her hands to put it in the garbage truck, it began to glow!

The dishwasher opened up and plates and cups began to float in the air, all sparkly clean.

“My, oh my, I wish my dishes were this clean after putting them in my dishwasher!”  Unfortunately for the garbage collector, the dishes surrounded her and began to take control of her body.  The dishwasher sucked her in, along with all the dishes, and the garbage truck.

Suddenly, the dishwasher turned into a large demon robot.  “My name is John Ramses!” the large robot exclaimed.  “And through political lobbying I will acquire all the waste contracts for LA County and make John Ramses the number one trash and waste power in the world!”

John Ramses picked up his demon robot briefcase and walked in the nearest City Hall, and slowly worked on his trash-picking empire.  By 2015, John Ramses had overtaken all the contracts in the world.

Moral of the story: Don’t take things that aren’t yours.

 

Quote #13683

“when I was a kid I brought my wagon around to other people’s houses, and they would save their newspapers for me. When I got the newspaper I put it in a bundle…

::he shows with his hands how big it was::

…and when the junkman came, he took a hook and picked up the bundle…

::does a hand motion of a hook grabbing a newspaper bundle that isn’t there::

…and the newspaper went up and down…

::he has his right arm in the air as the hook and his left arm as the newspaper, flat handed, going up and down, showing how the newspaper went up and down::

…and the counter read the weight as it went up and down, showing the weight”

– Dr. OldNBald

 

And How’s Business?

“My business is looking better,” said the optometrist.

“My business is down in the dumps,” said the garbage man.

“Mine is rolling in dough,” said the baker.

“Mine is slow,” said the turtle salesman.

“My business is for the birds,” said the pet store owner.

“My business has sunk to a new low,” said the deep-sea diver.

“My business is turning sour,” said the pickle salesman.

“Mine is going up,” said the elevator operator.

“My business is sick,” said the doctor.