“When you guys die before me, because of your bad food choices, I’ll be laughing on your grave while suckin’ down my bowl of heaven.”

- MWMATRD

Tags: bowl, death, food, grave

Tagged People: MWMATRD

Tags: death, sword

Tags: death, sword

Tags: death, sleep

Just Keep Watching.

Tags: blood, death, guy

Tagged People: bakerboy182

I know that people don’t usually know how to introduce the Alphabet to their young’un or some illiterate adult.  But look no further, as I’ve made a list of easy words to remember that go along with each letter!

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A is for Amphetamine

B is for Bong

C is for Cocaine

D is for Death

E is for Ecstacy

F is for Flip Me Over (Because I’m Gonna Be Ridden On)

G is for Giligan’s Island

H is for Hashish

I is for Illegal Drugs

J is for Jerk-off

K is for Kill

L is for LSD

M is for Marijuana

N is for Narcotics

O is for Opium Overdose

P is for PCP

Q is for Queen Bitch

R is for Rectal Probes

S is for Snorting

T is for Tranquilizer

U is for Underwear

V is for Vagina

W is for Wanker

X is for XXX rated fortune cookies

Y is for You

Z is for Zipper

Tags: alphabet, bong, death, drugs, fortune cookie, illegal, LSD, opium, underwear, zipper

Submitted through the Other submission form.

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name = mystic faerie
email = erikaoneal11@
use_email = no
type = songs
title = death
submission = death, i long 4 u
the date of my death is Tuesday, January 24, 2073
i can prove it.
death,blood, death,blood ,death,blood ,death,blood!!!!!

Tags: blood, death, January, mystic faerie
, Tuesday

gank – v. slang for “to kill.”  Typically used in games, in player versus player combat.

Tags: death, gank, murder, verb

A wife and husband buy a single gravestone (presumably an act of mutual marital faith).

The husband passes away “before his time” and the wife, after a few years, falls in love again and remarries. Where shall she be buried?
The solution was cremation. She could be cremated and put next to both husbands, which, of course, would make her diurnal.

Tags: death, grave, husband

A fellow was walking up to a doctors office and met another man coming out.

Just before they meet the fellow coming out fell face forward dead.  The first fellow went in and told the recepionist that a man had just fallen dead outside the office. The receptionist asked him, “Which way was he going?”

The man replied “he was leaving the office.”

The receptionist said, “Well, do me a favor, will you, and go back out and turn him around.”

Tags: death, doctor

CLARA: “I read this pamphlet that said “By the time you finish reading this paragraph, someone will have died.”

SARA: “What did you do?”

CLARA: “I stopped reading right away.”

Tags: death

RANDY: “I read this study that said every time you breathe, a person dies.”

SANDY: “I didn’t think my breath was that bad!”

Tags: breath, death

LAWYER: “I’ve got good news and bad news.”

PRISONER: “What’s the bad news?”

LAWYER: “They’re still going to electrocute you at sunrise.”

PRISONER: “What’s the good news?”

LAWYER: “I got the voltage reduced.”

Tags: death, electricity, lawyer, prison

“My phone went dead, my battery went dead, and I went dead.”

- Henry Morello

Tags: battery, death, telephone

Tagged People: Henry Morello

Q: Why did the zombie lose the race?

A: He was dead last.

Tags: death, race, zombie