Tag Archives: Antarctica

Top Ten Ways to Spend the $250 Million Powerball Jackpot

10. A twinkie for everyone in the country.

9. Develop and market an action-figure doll of yourself.

8. Get yourself one a’ them “Pentagon quality” toilet bowls.

7. Buy the biggest trailer in West Virginia, and then put a new BMW on blocks in the front yard.

6. Pay for a top-notch therapist to deal with the feeling that, compared to Bill Gates, you’re still not rich.

5. At long last: a home-slurpee machine of your VERY OWN!

4. Four words: Prank call to Antarctica.

3. Goodbye aluminum siding: Hello golden siding.

2. Get it all in pennies and ride the horse in front of K-mart, FOREVER!

1. Donate it to a college. Then they can name a building after you: “Lucky Bastard Hall”

If I Made the Republics of Antarctica and the Arctic

When I am bored in the future, I will proclaim Antarctica and the Arctic their own republic and gain freedom from the oppression given on the republics by the U.S. and Russia and any other countries that fucked with the Earth’s poles. I’ll go across the world, finding homeless people, and give them igloo mansions, money, and a job at the zoos in Antarctica and the Arctic. Our main income would be from zoos, and the main attractions would be polar bears and penguins. And we’ll become an imperialist nation and take over Greenland in a war, then slowly take over all the uninhabited islands of Canada that they don’t even use. Then, take over all the uninhabited islands of the Pacific, and everywhere else in the world that is uninhabited. Then when our forces got big enough, we’ll take over Bahrain! The republic of Antartica and Arctic live on forever! Sa-loot!