Your momma is so fat her belly button gets home 15 minutes before she does.
Your momma’s so fat that when she jumped into the ocean the whales started singing “We are Family.”
Your mommas so fat her picture fell off the wall!
Your momma is like a TV, even a two-year-old can turn her on.
My mother-in-law is so old that when she was in school, history was called current events.
Q: What’s the difference between your mama and an ironing board?
A: An ironing board’s legs are harder to get open