sisterpoobond’s Schedule

In the morning: #1 put on bra & shirt, #2 put on underwear & pants,

#3 Show is on at 7.00, and while that is on I have to put on socks and shoes & brush hair.

#4 Eat breakfast

#5 Brush teeth

#6 after that I put on jacket make sure homework in backpack

#7 Pick up room

 

 

When I Come Home from school…I…. #1 wash hands #2 read as long as you want #3 do homework.

#4 eat dinner #5 finish homework

#6 put P.J.s on

#7 brush teeth

#8 pick up room

 

Dinner With My Favorite Person

If I had a choice to have dinner with any person in the world, I would pick a singer or a favorite band to go with. I would want to meet either Britney Spears or the band named Nsync. I pick Nsync because 5 people are always better than 1 like Britney Spears. In the band Nsync there is Justin, J.C., Chris, Lance, and Joey.

 

I would like to go to dinner with them because they are good pop singers and I am one of their good fans. I have their two CD’s. Those two CD’s sold over 1.3 Million singles. My favorite song they sang is ” Just Got Paid.”

 

About a week before the dinner, I would tell all my friends that next week I will go to dinner with the famous pop singers Nsync. I will also get 5 pictures of each band member and let them autograph them for me at the dinner. At the dinner I would first ask them for their autographs on the pictures that I got ready for them to sign. At the end of the meal I would ask them to sing my favorite song “Just Got Paid” for me at the restaurant. When the meal is over I would say Thank You and I hope we can do this again someday.

The End

 

The Reasons Why sisterpoobond Wants Her Hair Braided

davepoobond: this is word for word on a piece of paper my sister left for my mom…its pretty stupid…

——————————–

Please!!??!!??!!

These are a list why I would like to get my hair braided, (not like Sami’s):

 

  • The only thing I can do with my hair is, pony-tail, bun, or clip

  • I’ve never had my hair braided, and would like to try it

  • It would be easier for me on our trip

  • Me and Sami were going to pertend that we were sisters and if we looked the same it would be really cool

  • I’ll pay for it

  • Also for the first day of school

  • When I take my hair out it’ll look like all fuzzy

Please Mom!

PLEASE

+So as you can see I really want my hair to be braided………….

………….what do you say??

 

Stuff Emily Dickinson Would Personify

-candy

-a jar

-plums

-a tree

-leaves

-sand

-dirt

-compost pile

-trash can

-trash

-wind

-the man next door she doesn’t talk to

-a bird flying overhead

-a bundle of sticks

-sky

-thunderstorm

-vases

-flowers

-fire

-clouds

-paper bag

-fruit basket

-her bed

-grass

-time

-emotions

-traits

-doors, entrances and exits

 

Who Emily Dickinson Is

Basically, Emily Dickinson was a loner that almost never left her house and communicated with people by letters and her loser sister that did her grocery shopping for her and such. She never was seen out of her house and was there for like 50 years without going outside or something…she wrote about a thousand STUPID poems, too

 

Nose: A Letter Home

DEAR MOMANDDAD,

 

I regret to inform you that i was abducted by aliendss on October the 29, 1988,

the person YOU HAVE BEEN LIVING WITH FOR THE LAST !# YEARS

IS NOTHING BUT A LIE.

 

All i habe tosay is that you may lwavve everything i own on thw kittxheb tanblekjsa af ams adfas ,sdfjas adsfjabviune49a

asfa fafadsfsahfjkn 4jb, afnmsoarlwcnjn4 nknlfjr je anfa

akhfkjhfjk fdmsf nkj hzknjabk;sasnmasnmgfsfkbfi ,sviunrahf as

kkkkkklklllkinuhutrseawaegfvhgytcresg cjhgyt ytfyt

dddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

ddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

ddddddddddddd jhN DJKNVJKSDFG KNK KGSNFE,ADNF JFLRMA FDM A,D OJBNLEJ*ANFL

ABFKJNFJKNFKHFHFKHKBKJHSV KHBSASDFASF BASF.

ASFSFFSFDFF.

ASF.

ASD

ASFFSFFFFFFFFFF

 

3 Things That Make Me Feel Proud, Special, or Unique

1. My imagination

This is the key to writing my stories. Without it I may have never made DBC (David Broadcasting Company).

2. My ability to write stories in script format

I made something called DBC (David Broadcasting Company) with TV shows, movies, sports, radio station, that kind of thing. I have a lot of TV shows for it and I’m also making a story for a web site I help on the internet.

3. My being able to figure out video games and computer games before I read the instructions.

I can figure out the basic commands (sometimes some advanced commands) the first time I put the game into the system. Sometimes I don’t even need the instruction booklet to learn how to play.

Evidence!!!

This would be evidence for 1 and 2. This story is based on Pokémon (a video game) where I turn the tables and when humans usually catch Pokémon the Pokémon catch humans. This is only about a page of the story. I have 10 pages so far:

Note: I took this piece of fine literature out of this article because I’m going to put it up as a separate thing later on. I’ll link it from here when its up. I’ll put it up when I feel that I’m ready to receive the backlash for even writing shit like that in my past.

I can’t really give any evidence for #3. I have no idea how I can give anything for that.

 

Dreams of the Future

This was written as an essay for dave’s 12th grade English class.

I have many dreams of the future for my life. There are different types of success that I would consider successful and some that are not successful for me at all. One thing is for sure though, in 30 years I want to see that I made a difference. I want to make an impact on a greater scale, and not be living life with nothing to look forward to with each passing day.

The main dream I have for my future is to become the head of a huge company that I build with my own hands, with or without help from others. I believe that within 10 years, I will be able to gain enough popularity to branch into different business fields. I will probably gain most of my popularity through my web site, because a lot of people like it, and as I slowly make money off of it, I will have enough money to do more things. I will also use some money I get elsewhere, like my job, to fund my ambitions for future development of my company. I know this is a long shot and it probably won’t happen, but it’s just a dream.

A second dream that I have, is to somehow rule the world, and THEN make a huge company that everyone loves, or will be forced to love. I would obtain the world by enlisting an army of millions and millions of people, that would like to join my cause. And once I had a powerful enough army, I would become the president of the United States, because the millions and millions of people that are in my army would vote for me, and then I would have control of my army and the United States Army, and then I would take over the world accordingly. The company I make would supply most of the world’s food and other necessary items, because I would force all the companies in the world to become apart of my company. I would be a fair and honest ruler, and the world will be passed down through the generations of my family. I know this isn’t going to happen at all though.

If I, in the future, end up doing things that are really important, and I end up not having a life that doesn’t have anything more to look forward to, then I would consider myself successful. I want everyday to be exciting and I want to be happy with the choices I made in my life, and the path that I took.

 

Email to a “Prison Warden”

this was a really fucking long time ago…I thought it was funny when i was doing it, but its just stupid now, but oh well. I have no idea what web site this was anymore…wow there’s a huge crow in my backyard…

————————————

WHAT?? you send us to preeson??? you cannot do that till you find out i m a illegal in de states compandre! MY MOM IS A NURSE! she’ll get a bucncha cocters to sue you and you will die. i’m going to hak you site. stomp humpig you chair! you pig! you goys shuld make da prisons funner! you should give us guns, so that we can kill you and all your stupid guardsa. I’LL PERSONALLY ESTE OOMPA ON U ASS! I’LL GET MEDIEVEL TO! OPEN A CAN OF WHUP ASS! GET A 2 BY 8 AND KILL YOU! YfOuUcK try and and firger tat one out! I WANT TO HAVE KITTIEs! brecuz of yyour stinking finger i cannot have puppies and kitties in my hands at the ship! yyyyyyoooooouuuu arrrreeee nnnooottt cooollll….i demand a trial with a jury i pick out personnally and you will die. dont foget you will die. u should make the prisons more entertainig. put a chair up in my room. also a computer so ic can hak into you mind and screw up what somehow slipped away from bein screwed up. why would u work in a place lick dis? you get paid? i should have your gob. i am much more quallified dan you. i bet your name is nancy. what kind of a name is nancy for a warden of a prison where they hold a bunch of weirdos liek you een. slap slap slap. screamlikeamoron screamlikeamoron screamlikeamoron. bang bang bang. kill kill kill. eat eat eat. bang bang bang. slap slap slap. kill kill kill. sleep sleep sleep. I just discribed your everyday life.!’, yo should die. you our going to love to die. so satart crying you poo poo head. you shouldn’t dance like a hamster near anybody you know. you shouldnt dance a t all actualy poopp….knock knock, who’s there, you, you who? hi, you suck! guess what?>? its trues! i bet you dont wear shoes! are you a direct decendent of a lady named charles sheen and michale chakson? i bet you look like them. thank you good bye. no you cant come over to my house and have noodles. blah blah blah blah. fah-q fah-q. poopy head person. go poop in a sink you toilet brain. you sour punk. i oughtta bash your head in wit my steel guitar i brought from mexico. remember that i will este oompa on you ass one day in your life. watch you ass. hahaahahaha. i bet you’d actually look at it, wouldnt you? well poop on you. if you read it this far, i am amazed that you can read at all. and no, you cannot go on that date with me that i said you could go out with my dog skiwa and do something that i dont want you to behind my dog. you know what you’re gonna do with him. you shouldnt do things to dogs like that. poo poo brain i stick my tongue out to you =P =p

POO POO HEAD!!!!

 

Rainforest Letter

Note: I wrote this for Regional Studies. I had to act like i cared about the deforestation of the rainforest. Which I kinda do in a sense…

———————————-

999 Santa Street

Christmas, California

12- 6- 00

 

Brazilian Rainforest Advisory Board

999 Brazil Street

Brazilia, Brazil

 

Dear Sir:

I have a proposition to make about what should be done with the rainforest. You should outlaw the burning of rainforest trees, because they might get out of control and burn more than they intend to.

Also, if you’re going to want to get rid of some of the rainforest, you might as well cut it down to use the trees that had/would have been burned down as resources for local needs.

It is just plain wasteful to have things burnt down for no apparent reason other to clear it.

If you make burning down the rainforest illegal, it will discourage the burnings of the rainforest and will save more trees so that you may use those as things to build houses with, make paper with, or many other things you can do.

You can also use the rainforest for an Eco-tourism site and generate more cash than just using it for what you would have done before with other parts of the rainforest.

You should not cut down all of the Rainforest, because it isn’t going to be there forever if you keep cutting the trees down. Its not nice to live in a Ultra-Violet Sun Ray World.

 

Sincerely,

davepoobond

 

Dave’s First Date

Well my first date started out ok. I drove up to her with my 82 diesel at 12:00, but that’s when Temporary Dad came out with a shotgun. She opened the door and got in in a hurry, but unfortunately the way I was going was uphill, so I was only going 25 mph, cause the car wouldn’t go over that going uphill. So it ended up with me and Temporary Dad getting into a hissy fit about me wanting to have anal sex with his temporary daughter. I told him not to worry, I wasn’t like that. Then he got happy and gave me the kiss on each cheek thing, then he said “have fun”

So we went to McDonalds. I only had 4 bucks, so i got the 39 cent hamburgers and yogurt parfait. Kimmy got the Big Mac meal, but I made her pay for it cause i only had 45 cents left. I offered it to her, but she didn’t want it.

While we were eating, we didn’t talk, and I just looked around. I ended up going into the playplace, playing the Nintendo games and climbing around in the ball room and the tubes until I got kicked out. She was in the bathroom, vomiting, and when she came out she said “lets go some place fun.” In response, I said “what’s more fun then the McDonald’s Playplace?” She gave me a cold stare, and I said, “ok lets go”

I drove over to the park, and there were lots of kids there. I ran over to the swings (there were only two of them) and the other was being used by another kid. I swung for about 10 minutes, and she watched me from a platform. Then I went down the swirly slide 5 more times. It didn’t look like Kimmy was having fun, because she was by my car door, tapping her foot with her arms crossed. By then it was already 5:00, and I could tell that I was either gonna get laid or get a slap in the face.

Well, I got the slap in the face. It’s not my fault she didn’t like to go down slides…

Good news ladies, I’m STILL available! ::wink::

(This is a work of fiction, by the way)

 

Criticism

I got this on Sep. 30, 2002 at about 5:57:04…

————————————-

From Farnelbee:

no offense, but your updates SUCK ASS. i’m a long time visitor on squackle. i remember when the updates used to tell you something. maybe about WHAT THE UPDATE WAS. and whats with this fucking poop troop? all my friends think it’s gay that you (davepoobond) screwed the other members out of their jobs. now some jackass poop troop member says something jackasstastic for each update, trying to be funny, BUT IT’S NOT FUCKING FUNNY. ow… i’m getting sore. i’ll be back. i’m gonna start sending more complaints and shit.

————————————-

davepoobond’s response:

I understand where you’re coming from, and I thank you for being a “long time visitor” as you put it. I don’t know how long you’ve been coming, but anything over 2 times is good enough for me. I don’t really know what you mean by “explaining,” before, I just said “there’s a new story in the stories section, and there’s a few new pictures, go there and figure out whats new” basically.

The reason behind the poop troops is so that you can know who is a part of the site, and you would see lots of stuff by (its not really the case for most of them), but I’m workin’ on too many things and too many ideas to really focus on the Poop Troops right now.

I don’t know what you mean by “screwing” the other Squackle members out of their jobs, if anything they screwed ME. Most of them have lost interest in Squackle, and haven’t been giving me anything really at all recently. I would love to have them give me stuff on a regular basis, but that’s just not the case with them. Once in a while I get things from stimpyismyname, but that’s it.

What would you like me to do for the updates if you don’t like how it is so much?

————————————-

Turns out it was just stimpyismyname.

 

davepoobond’s Trip to Alcatraz

Note: I wrote this for English, and my teacher actually got mad at me because I didnt answer the question correctly

—————————

Well, the most exciting thing that happened to me over this summer. I really didn’t have much exciting things happen to me this summer, except sleeping, and watching TV. I did have one exciting thing happen to me over the summer though. I had gone to Alcatraz, where lots of infamous criminals had been. I had taken the “audio tour” and there was a lot of information about the blocks of jail blocks in the jail.

They named each of the 3 “streets.” One was Michigan Street, Main Street, and some other thing, I forgot. The floor was made out of concrete that looked like it hadn’t been repaved in ages. There was a lot of cracks in the floor, probably from the earthquakes that had hit San Francisco since the 50s.

The Audio Tour had said so much information about each little thing, and had these little sounds of jail cells closing and opening and ringing and whistling and shouting, you name anything that was in the jail, they put it on that tape.

The place that was spent most time at was the cafeteria. There was just a bunch of blue benches in rows, and a space in between some of them, where a table would be. The tape player told me that they had been served very good food, because the rest of the time that they were there were very bad conditions, there was no heat, because the windows were always open, and the sea breeze kept blowing in the jailhouse, and it wouldn’t have been pleasant at all.

After the audio tour, I had lost my family and walked around for like 10 minutes before I found them again. We got on the boat and went back to the mainland, resuming the rest of our vacation to San Francisco.

 

Dustbusting My Keyboard

i was dustbusting my keyboard and this came out:

22222222222224354465555768765444444444444444455555555555555555888777777777hm-0.;-;’=pppppp

Find Your Retard Nam

.-;;;;;;;;;;;; 9888888mmmmmmmmmm7 n666665v4444444x3222!!!!!!!A

jjjjhhgggffffffhhhhhhrrreeeew