Mrs. DYKE Conversation: Puppies

Note: this didn’t really happen, this is just what we think she would say if we talked to her

davepoobond: “hello Mrs. DYKE! do you like puppies?”

Mrs. DYKE: “why, yes, I was taking a shower for 15 minutes and I thought about a puppy!”

davepoobond: “….”

(Mrs. DYKE sticks her tongue out and bites it)

davepoobond: “ew!”

Mrs. DYKE: “did you do your Regional Studies homework?”

davepoobond: “…no!”

Mrs. DYKE: “why NOT!!??!!?”

davepoobond: “my parents threw out the newspaper already. I don’t want to make a ‘current events wall’ anyway!”

Mrs. DYKE: “You don’t like my idea????”

davepoobond: “Hell no, bitch”



Quote #20805: Stupid Story About Scantrons

This entry is part 14 of 26 in the series The Retail Report

::Lady comes over to davepoobond’s register::

Lady: You can do returns here, right?

davepoobond: Sure.

Lady: Ok, well I want to return these 2 Scantrons and buy the folder.

davepoobond: Do you have a receipt?

Lady: No…

davepoobond: Sorry, I need one to do it, its so easy to just pick them up off the shelve and just —

Lady: Oh no, I PAID for those… I had them for a long time.

davepoobond: I know, but I still need a receipt.

Lady: Ok, fine, I’ll just have to talk to a manager about it then, just that one up.

davepoobond: 74 cents.


So the fucking lady gets upset over the 40 cents for Scantrons she didn’t get money back for, and goes over to the Customer Service desk.  It’ll be hilarious if I lose my job over something like that.

Why does someone ever want to return things like that without a receipt?  Its fucking 75 cents for the God damn folder, and keep the Scantrons, you dumbass, they’re only 40 cents.  You probably have more change in that fucking purse than you’ll ever use, what good is more gonna do?