Quote #24596

My self-summary

“im not looking for a relationship or anything like that so any message asking me to be your girlfriend will get trashed. also please dont try and talk with me not here to converse just here to sell. sorry
im here to fulfill a fetish a lot of men have and thats buying used panties. you heard right. im selling my dirty panties to anyone who is interested.
please dont message me asking for sex and/or friendship. i am only looking to sell.
my delicious panties are $40 each and i do give discounts to clients who buy a few pairs so message me ONLY if you’re interested.
we can either meet up or i can mail them to you. sorry i dont drive to anyone that lives outside of LA.”

What I’m doing with my life

“selling my delicious panties”

I spend a lot of time thinking about

“all the men that love my panties”

On a typical Friday night I am

“selling panties”

The most private thing I’m willing to admit

“it turns me on when guys buy my panties”

You should message me if

“you want a pair of my used panties”

 

– from a girl’s dating profile

 

Quote #24535

“According to some lady named Jessica who has an office literally in the middle of a train station with no walls around her, we have won a $50,000 home makeover (cool!!) and a 7 day trip to any location in the United States (wow!!).

She works for a company named Direct Buy and I saved her phone number in the phone (under the name “Scammer”) in case we get another call from her company.  I asked her for a web site and what her full name was but she hung up on me 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁  I am sure she will call back because this random selection process that she had told us about sounds like an amazingly legitimate prize.”

– davepoobond, e-mailing his co-workers after receiving a phone call from a scammer

 

Quote #24499

At work, I was getting a call from Crios.  I was letting the phone ring a little bit longer than usual because I as typing something.  Right before the last ring I picked it up.

Crios (screaming):  PICK UP THE PHONE, YOU MOTHER FUCKERS!!!!

davepoobond: Hi… how’s it going?

Crios: OH.  Sorry.  I wasn’t directing that at you, it was just a little road rage.

davepoobond: Oh, okay…

And then I helped him out with his issue.

 

Squackle.com! Mottos

Mottos are needed when you want to boast about how good your site is.  Here’s a bunch of mottos and potential ad blurbs I thought up.  They may or may not be used at some point.

Mottos:

  • Squackle.com!  The Funniest Site on the Net!
  • Squackle.com!  Bitches Beware!
  • Squackle.com!  The Site That Saved the World! / The “Site” That Saved(?) “the” World!
  • Squackle.com!  Better Than Porn!
  • Squackle.com!  Annoying the World, One Person at a Time
  • Squackle.com!  Annoying the World, More Than One Person at a Time
  • Squackle.com!  Bringing You and Your Family Closer to Insanity
  • Squackle.com!  So Much Crap, So Little Time
  • Squackle.com!  70% of Our Visitors Probably Have Their Pants Around Their Ankles
  • Squackle.com!  We didn’t cut the fat!
  • Squackle.com!  One of the Funniest Sites on the Net (deprecated, but classic)
  • Squackle.com!  A Lot of Advantages
  • Squackle.com! More Visitors Than Voters in the Green Party
  • There’s a place for everything, even your mom, on Squackle.com

Ad Blurbs:

  • Hey, fag.  Go to Squackle! www.squackle.com
  • Jo MAMA lives in Bahrain! Buy the shirt at www.squackle.com
  • I screwed jo mama after she went to this site www.squackle.com
  • There’s naked pictures of your momma on the web. Go here to see them. www.squackle.com
  • ohh The Best Part of Wakin’ Up, is screwin your mom up the assssss! www.squackle.com
  • Hey, you.  Do something productive with your meaningless life and go to this meaningless site.  It’s funny!  Tell people about it, too.
  • Squackle <—— funny site.   Tell people about it.
  • Hey you!  Got nothing to do?  Go to this site, it’s funny, and there is funny stuff there, too!  Go as soon as you can, this shit is hi-frickin-larious.  Tell people about it, too!
  • Ain’t today pretty?  Pretty boring!  Wanna get un-bored?  Go to this site, it’s funny and well worth it to go.  So go now, and tell people about it, too!
 

Quote #24153

“CHAAARRRRRGGGE! SMASH THEIR BALLS MORTAL STRIKE THEIR FORESKINS REND THIER BUM CRACK AND DUMP YOUR RAGE WITH WHIRLWIND POP YOUR TRINKET POP IT LIKE YOU POPED YOU COCK RECKLESSNESS AS YOU EXECUTE THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS RAVAGER THEIR DICK HOLES SWEEPING STRIKE BLADESTORM OFF THEIR… GENITAAAAAAAALLLLS….”

– Tactialxtent, in World of Warcraft