Joke #18514

A husband asks his wife, “If I should die first would you marry again?”

“I would be heart-broken, of course,” was her reply, “but I think eventually I would remarry.”

“But you wouldn’t bring him here to our house?”

“Why not? I’ve worked and slaved to make this house a home. There is no reason to abandon it.”

“But you wouldn’t sleep in our bed?”

“Well, I wouldn’t run out and buy a new bed right away.”

“Surely, you wouldn’t let him use my golf clubs?”

“Of course not! He’s lefthanded!”


Joke #18432

“Do you remember first meeting your wife?”

“Sure, I found Jill lying face down in the gutter. I lifted her to her feet and promised her that if she agreed to marry me, she would begin a new life and I’d never allow her near the gutter again.”

“Wow, I hope she appreciates what you did for her.”

“Not really. Jill hated to give up bowling.”