Tag Archives: Volvo

The stereotypical female Volvo driver

Looks a little like the character “Mrs Bucket” on the UK comedy “Keeping Up Appearances”
Aged between 55 and 70
Chubby with a bulldog face
Has a British upper class snobbish accent
Burgundy coloured hair
Wears glasses
Wears an old lady’s dress

Her habitat:
A really old stylish 19th century mansion somewhere in UK
Interior of the mansion is full of stylish antiques and mahogany trim
Has a ballroom for so she can dance to old farts music with her snobby friends

Her lifestyle:
A total utter snob
A total square
Listens to opera music
Hangs with upper class snobs
When someone does something that’s slightly insulting she says “Hmph! Why I never!”
Anything to do with sex, rock music, lower class citizens and swear words is taboo to her
Her favourite artists are Pavarotti, Bach, Mozart, Chopin, Mrs Miller, Kamahl, Mario Lanza, Frank Sinatra and Bing Crosby
When shopping she buys the most expensive upper class clothes
Often goes to operas to watch opera singers perform
Aggrevates other drivers when driving her Volvo around

Her Volvo car:
A typical late 1980’s Volvo 244 sedan that’s been done up into a luxury car
Has a car alarm that goes off when someone comes within 30 feet
Has airbags for every seat and to the sides
Has leather seats

Her driving:
Drives 50km below the legal limit in the fast lane on highways causing traffic jams
Often honks her horn at any driver
Pulls out in front of cars always almost causing an accident
Takes 2 minutes to go after the light’s gone green which the light goes red again and pisses the other drivers off
Puts her blinkers on 2 minutes before she turns into a street
Plays classical and opera music real loud while driving and leaves the windows down so others can hear it
When someone tries to overtake her she pulls out in front of them so they can’t pass her
She parks her car 10 feet from the curb which causes traffic blockages
Has her lights on high beam during daytime