Tag Archives: tooth fairy

Jenkins

Once upon a time there was a shoe salesman named Jenkins. He had a terrible life. He was gay, an alcoholic, weighed 450 pounds, and he hadn’t sold a pair of shoes since 1978. Then one day the tooth fairy came to him. He said “what the hell are you doing here, you’re the tooth fairy, get away”. The tooth fairy said “No. You are pretty weird. I’m here to help you and you won’t except my help. What kind of position are you in to shoo me away huh fatty?” Then Jenkins said fine, What should I do. So the tooth fairy extracted all of his teeth, made his hair pink, made him work out until he weighed 98 pounds, and put him in a permanent tutu. His life got even worse. So he shot the tooth fairy with a shot gun and he exploded. Jenkins is living in a mental institution as of now and the tooth fairy has not been seen since. The moral of the story is, don’t trust the tooth fairy or your life will suck forever.

The End

Joke #5213: Birds and the Bees

Morris asks his son, now aged 10, if he knows about the birds and the bees. “I don’t want to know!” the child said, bursting into tears. Confused, the father asked his son what was wrong.

“Oh dad,” he sobbed, “at age six I got the ‘there’s no Santa’ speech. At age seven I got the ‘there’s no Easter bunny’ speech. Then at age 8 you hit me with the ‘there’s no tooth fairy’ speech! If you’re going to tell me now that grown-ups don’t really have sex, I’ve got nothing left to live for!”