“Key charm cuties”
– from the TV
Tag Archives: television
Quote #14908
“cant-do-diddlay.com!”
– from the TV
Quote #14907
“Watch out baby, watch out”
– from the TV
Quote #14612
“I’m gonna empty my bladder”
– TV version of a quote from a movie. Don’t know what this is from.
Quote #14021
“what? it doesn’t live in-hey comon go back”
::slaps the TV screen::
– ???
Quote #13866
“Television.. chewing gum for the brain.”
– ZEN
Joke #13729
Q: How can you tell when Santa Claus is on your roof?
A: Your television reception is bad!
Joke #13148
Your momma is like a TV, even a two-year-old can turn her on.
Joke #12975
“Thank goodness Thomas Edison invented the light bulb.”
“Why?”
“If he didn’t, we’d be watching TV in the dark.”
Joke #12846
T.V. REPAIRMAN: “Lady, the trouble with your T.V. set is a short circuit in the cord.”
LADY: “Well, for heaven sake, lengthen it. I’m missing my favorite show.”
Joke #12840
A sports nut is someone who’s married to the TV set during the baseball, football and basketball seasons and married to a wife the rest of the time.
Joke #12419
A TV rating outfit recently called a sample of the male population in New York and asked, “Who are you listening to at this time?”
Of the respondents, .995 percent answered, “My wife.”
Joke #12418
Q: Do you know what keeps the average married man from buying a color TV set?
A: …Reading the price tag in black and white.
Joke #11994
A man with two badly burned ears went to see his doctor.
“What happened?” asked the doctor.
“Well,” began the man, “my wife was ironing while I was watching a ball game on TV. She put the hot iron near the telephone and when the phone rang, I answer the iron.”
The doctor nodded. “But what happened to the other ear?”
“No sooner did I hang up,” said the man, “than the same guy called up again!”
Joke #11920
Receptionist: Hello? Dr. Sickman’s office. May I help you?
Caller: Yes! I feel funny. What should I do?
Receptionist: Try to get on television.