“swimmy ’03 4 life”
– from somewhere around davepoobond’s high school
Tag Archives: swim
Quote #15211
“lifeguards don’t swim, they watch others swim”
– from the TV
Quote #14665
“If he wants to swim with the sharks, he’ll have to lose some blood”
– from a movie. Don’t know what this is from
Quote #14654
“Oh, I swim pretty girl-pretty good”
– Pootie Tang (2001)
Joke #13735
Q: What do you ask a boy skating on thin ice?
A: “Can you swim?”
Joke #13084
Q: Why did the loony water polo team lose every game?
A: Because their horses couldn’t swim.
Joke #13004
Did you hear about the tourist who went to the desert for the first time? He fell down in a mirage and drowned because he couldn’t swim.
Joke #12181
Did you hear about the entomologist who live din the slums? He went out and bought a water bed so his roaches could go swimming in the summer.
Joke #12126
Q: What’s the first thing you have to know in order to try out for a water polo team?
A: How to swim.
Joke #12061
Then there was the sailor who joined the frogmen because he couldn’t swim.
Joke #11946
My father taught me to swim when I was five years old. He took me down to the river and threw me in. I wouldn’t have minded, but people were ice skating at the time.
Joke #11504
Swimming Instructor: Remember, girls, swimming is the best exercise you can do to stay slim and beautiful.
Girl: Have you ever taken a close look at a duck?
Joke #11440
Polly: Why do you keep doing the backstroke?
Robin: I just had lunch and I don’t want to swim on a full stomach.
Joke #10820
Q: What did the characters in Alive! yell before going swimming?
A: “Last one in is a coddled egg!”
The Outrageous Shark
Most of this was taken from a Johnny Bravo episode, cause I was stupid in 6th grade and thought it was so funny that I should recreate it in word form, in a less funny fashion…yeah…but the other half I made up…Remember, I made this in 1998, when I was in 6th grade…
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One day a shark was hungry, so he went on the beach and asked a mouthful…I mean a lot of people if they wanted to go swimming so he can eat them. But they said, “No way man!! You’re a shark!!” The shark thought, “Hmmmm, I gotta try a new approach.” So he put on a Richard Nixon mask that was big enough to cover someone’s face, but only covered the tip of his nose Then he went to another guy that just got slapped by his girlfriend. Let’s make that X-girlfriend.
The shark said,” Hey!!! Wanna go swimmin’?” Then the guy said,” Hey aren’t you a shark?” The shark said,” Um… no!! I’m Richard Nixon!!!” The guy said, “There are a bunch of teeny weeny bikini girls out there!! Why would I want to go swimming.” Then the shark said, “Well……” Then the guy said, “NO!!!” After that the shark went home disappointed. The foundation of his house was cracked. When he lounged on the floor it cracked some more and made a loud resounding noise through the house. Then he heard all the trout moving downstream in the river next door to his house. The surrounding noise that was resounding his house went over and over and over. The next morning the shark died of boredom and hunger. His house also fell on top of him.
The story you have just read is true. The names and places have been changed to protect the innocent.