The subway car was packed. It was rush hour, and many people were forced to stand. One particularly cramped woman turned to the man behind her and said, “Sir, if you don’t stop poking me with your thing, I’m going to the cops!”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about miss – that’s just my pay check in my pocket.”
“Oh really” she spat. “then you must have some job, because that’s the fifth raise you’ve had in the last half hour.”
A man had fallen between the rails in a subway station. People were all crowding around trying to get him out before the train ran him over. They were all shouting, “Give me your hand!” But the man would not reach up.
Joe elbowed his way through the crowd and leaned over the man. “Friend,” he asked, “What is your profession?”
“I am an IRS agent,” gasped the man. “In that case,” said Joe, “Take my hand!”
The IRS agent immediately grasped the Joe’s hand and was hauled to safety. Joe turned to the amazed by-standers and declared, “Never ask an IRS agent to “give” you anything, you fools!”