Did you hear about the crook who’s so ugly, the post office refused to put up his wanted pictures on the wall?
Tag Archives: picture
Joke #12690
Nobody likes me. For my high school yearbook photo, they made me wear a bag over my head.
Joke #12556
Scientists have developed a new camera that can take photographs of the entire world. They tried one, but the picture turned out terrible. Someone moved.
Joke #10660
Joe says to Bill, “Want to see a picture of my Aunt?”
“Sure.”
So Joe takes out a picture.
“What are you talking about?” Bill says, “That’s not your aunt! That’s a picture of a fish!”
Joe responds, “Well, sure it is… It’s my aunt Chovy!”
domiluruji
domiluruji – v. to show a random stranger at SuperCuts pictures on your cell phone
pach
pach – n. a picture file that is 1 gig in size
amosa
amosa – v. to take a picture of something useless
dimrar
dimrar – n. a picture of 4 annoying kids laughing
unif
unif – n. a family picture taken with non-family people
oigoun
oigoun – v. to take a picture of yourself naked in a bathtub full of water
temala
temala – n. an instance in time where dough gets in front of your face as you get your picture taken
The End of the World Theory
No no no, i’m sick of all this comet and ice melting crap…the world isn’t going to end like that, see…the goverment of every country will give money to people and the people will run to the casino’s and spend it all…so the whole world goes bankrupt, but then all the casino’s in the world will flood with money and all the people will drown by getting coins and stuff down there throat. When the coins hit the ground, the aliens (who can hear a pin…i mean pants drop from long distances…) think the sound of a coin drop is someone dropping there pants and mooning them…and flashing your ass to aliens is a serious offense and you get your ass chopped off and forced to eat Laxatives (stuff that makes you poop A LOT) and be forced to look at a toilet….the horror….anyways the aliens come and give everyone in the world a purple nurple(twisting your nipple) and a kick in the ass. Now everyone is getting kicked and having aching nipples and so they start a moon war, where who can blind the most enemy eyes with one ass. Now it would be a hard war to win but eventually an old Alien guy called Bubba Lubba Fat Ass Tubba Witha Bubba Tummy Tom would show his big ass and the whole human race will go blind and they’ll be forced to watch…i mean listen too porno movies with out picture (cause there blind) and they’ll kill themselves and the aliens will rule the earth. It’s the truth…
If your picture was in a Health book, you would…
Loading ...The Day I Went Blind
I remeber that day well…I just came out of my english class, feeling my bodily fluids ready to burst out…I walked quickly to the bathroom, which seemed like a mile! The tile floors were white and red and tan, and I stared at them as I walked to the bathroom. Suddenly, I forgot where the bathroom was! I REALLY had to go, so i looked around, trying to find a sign that said “Boys” or “Men” or even (i was that desperate) “Girls”. I could see the bathroom sign marking: “Boys” as I jolted torward the door. I opened the door when I herd whispering and giggling. Until the door shut I herd a loud whisper say: “Shhhh here comes someone now!” and then it fell silent. I stepped into the bathroom, behind the bathroom wall until I saw it….It looked like a basketball with a big crack down the center. It had a wart on the left “cheek”. I herd someone yell: “You got MOONED”! I felt faint, my body took a 50 foot drop as I feel to the floor, with my eyes open. I couldn’t close them with out having that disgusting picture put into my vision. I winced a few times hearing the kids leaving as they went over the story over and over…I went blind…
The Case of the Missing Coat of Arms
I was stupid in 6th grade and thought it would be funny that I should make this like a Scooby Doo mystery. Remember, I made this in 1997, when I was in 6th grade…
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(version 9.9999.1 ½)
On September 4, 1994 King Arthur’s coat of arms was stolen. Detective Sam Smith was at his desk filing a report on some “punk” he caught on Main St. when the Sheriff came up to him and said “Smith, King Arthur’s Coat of guns were stolen!” Det. Smith said, “I believe that is coat of armor sir.” “No” said the Sheriff “it says coat of arms so I’m thinking that someone stole the guns to take over the world!” Det. Smith said, “OK I’ll take the task, but, before I leave, it’s armor that was stolen.” “Guns” said the Sheriff, but Det. Smith was in his Viper before he said it.
When he got to the scene of the crime no one was there. In a distant tunnel there was a bunch of photographers on top of a crashed car taking pictures of the car. Det. Smith thought nothing of it. He went inside the castle and there was King Arthur’s coat of arms! Then out of nowhere, a monster came out of the darkness! Det. Smith started running. As Det. Smith ran down the endless corridor he saw a lot of chandeliers. He thought maybe he could trap the guy by cutting a rope and trapping the monster inside like the cartoons!
When he had a chance he cut the rope on a chandelier he captured the monster, then he said, “It’s time to unmask you. He took off a mask and he said, “Don Knotts?”
He thought and said, “Hey wait a minute.” He tool off tons of masks. It sorta went in this order: Don Knotts, Scooby Doo, The Creature from the Black Lagoon, Michael Jackson, Bugs Bunny, Bigfoot, and millions of others. Then the crook said, “Enough with the masks!!!” Then the crook took off the remaining masks. Det. Smith said, “Sheriff? Why did you do it Sheriff?” The “Sheriff” said, “Why do you think …. Because I’m evil ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!” “Sorry whoever you are but you’re going to jail!
THE END