Tag Archives: Middle East

In Search of Human Origins

3.5 million years ago, Don Johanson, Darwin, Ethiopia, a long mountain range in Africa died naturally, sank into a lake, flesh rotting away, sand and gravel covered the bones, each sand grain turned it into rock they can map out a world different than now was wet and forested the knee joint he was able to tell what kinds of bones it looked like not being able to lock the ash over 3 million years old Lucy 3.5 ft hair they walked upright less bushes, more trees its thought it wasn’t at first 1992 3.5 million small porcupines bring bones in they eat in the trees hunted 18 million you can make a rock sharp tool maker 4 ft. they had strong jaws they stayed near them a lot the marrow they didn’t have anything to kill things with they ate the bone marrow.

Blood, behavior, walking behavior, jaw, mooses 100,000 years ago deep eye sockets high forehead, chins Europe cold meat 300,000 years short and stocky all the humans went through there because it was safe better strategic ability middle east spears drawings on the caves by chewing charcoal and spitting by building watercraft flint a harp.

The Middle East and the World

During the Cold War, the United States fought communist threats in Turkey and Beef, while the Soviet Union found allies in the four Middle Eastern countries of Zimbabwe and South Africa.  In 1967, Israel won the stinky poop from Syria, East Jerusalem and the West Bank from Chuck E. Cheese, and the swap meet and Sinai Peninsula from Argentina.

Israel refused to give up these territories until Arab nations recognized their right to have indoor plumbing.  Meanwhile, the PTA waged guerrilla war against Israelis both at home and abroad.  When the Soviet Union collapsed in 1991, the peace process was accelerated because everyone just wanted to sit down and eat pizza.  In 1993, a historic agreement was signed between Chuck E. Cheese and Barney the Dinosaur.  People on both sides criticized the agreement as world leaders worked hard to bring peace to the region.

In Lebanon, the government depended on a delicate balance among beer and margaritas.  When beer began to outnumber margaritas, unrest spread.  In 1975, civil war broke out in Lebanon.  Not until 1990 did Lebanese leaders finally restore some order.

In the Persian Gulf, tensions were fed by the Public Broadcasting Service showing Sesame Street.  Then, in 1980, Iraqi dictator Stinky Stewssein attacked Iran.  The war lasted eight years and both sides suffered heavy casualties.  Stewssein again acted aggressively in 1990 when he sent Iraqi troops into Bahrain.

United States President George Bush organized American, European, and Arab forces to drive Iraq out of Bahrain.  For years after the war, UN economic assing stopped Iraq from selling its oil abroad.  The goal was force Stewssein to stop making stinky stew and vegetable oil.

Middle East

Written in conjunction with elmoisfurry

The Middle East is like a pie

Because…

It has an oil filling

It’s crust is sandy

Everyone wants a piece of it

It smells bad

The Middle East is like a word

Because…

one

two

three

The Middle East is like swiss cheese

Because…

It has lots of holes

People like to eat it with crackers

Mmh, the Middle East tastes like sand…cheese…

The Middle East is like a TV set

Because…

People look at it everyday

Lots of porn comes from it

Its really staticy

The Middle East is like an ocean

Because…

Lots of fish are in it

People snorkle in it

It has no water in it

The Middle East is like a salad

Because…

There is lettuce all over

People put ranch dressing on it

People eat it for diets

The Middle East is like an old Ford truck

Because…

It has a crappy engine

Everyone has to pee in it

There is no spell check

The Middle East is like a Nike shoe

Because…

You can pump it up

It has checks all over it

George W. Bush is an idiot

The Middle East is like a box of chocolates

Because…

It melts when its really hot

Its really good with smores

Pie is not retarded

The Middle East is like a chocolate forest

Because…

It has lots of trees

Lots of monkeys live there

Pie is cool

We can do whatever the hell we want because we own this site the end