I got a text message from some random number. So, as I usually like to have fun with these kinds of things, the following ensues:

–

Dee: Marcel? It’s dee

davepoobond: Hey baby what’s up how you doin

Dee: Hi lol I’ve been pretty good actually. Wbu?

davepoobond: O u kno jus chillin

davepoobond: N e plns 4 tonite

–

2 hours later

–

davepoobond: Yo you there?

–

5 hours later, at 1:57 AM she texts me again. (I was sleeping. Who the fuck texts back at 2 AM in the morning?)

–

Dee: My bad, my phone died. I was helping my cousin move

–

I wait until about 5:30 the next day and send her…

–

davepoobond: Hey what up dee what you up to

Dee: Whos this

davepoobond: What are you talkin bout

Dee: Who’s this*

davepoobond: Who is what

davepoobond: This is marcel

Dee: Which one? Lol what’s your last name

davepoobond: Why u askin how many marcels u kno?

davepoobond: Wait who is this

Dee: I know a few, and it’s dee. So which is it?

davepoobond: Jones

davepoobond: Which dee is this

davepoobond: U there?

–

Dammit! My like-a-black-guy texting didn’t convince her or something happened that tipped her off that she was texting the wrong person.