CUSTOMER: “Waiter, the food in this restaurant tastes terrible.”
WAITER: “I’m sorry you don’t like it, sir. Are there any other complaints?”
CUSTOMER: “Yes. Your portions are much too small.”
Tag Archives: food
Joke #5264
COACH: “Kronsky, you’re overweight. You spend too much time at the dinner table.”
PLAYER: “Coach, it’s not the minutes I spend at the table that puts all of this weight on me. It’s the seconds.
Joke #12710
WIFE: “Wake up! Wake up! There’s a burglar in the kitchen and he’s eating the leftover stew we had for supper.”
HUSBAND: “Go back to sleep and don’t worry, dear. I’ll bury him in the morning.”
Joke #12694
We’re so poor that when we have soup and sandwiches for supper, we can’t even afford the sandwiches.
Joke #12674
Did you hear about the umpire who kept home plate so clean, you could eat off it?
Joke #12614
I read in the papers about a Mid-West college football player who stands 6 foot 9 and weighs 465 pounds. His doctor put him on a diet. Now he can only eat one cow a day.
Joke #12574
The richest family in town has a dog who’s so fussy, he eats nothing but imported dog food.
Joke #12557
COBBLER TO CUSTOMER: “I can tell you why my soles don’t wear as well as they used to. It’s because these days all the good leather goes into steaks.”
Joke #12548
With food prices and inflation sky high, I don’t know which is emptier — my wallet or my refrigerator.
Joke #12450
With the rising cost of food prices, who can afford to be immortal?
Joke #12439
The way my kids eat, after meals we’re lucky to have the napkins and plates left over.
Joke #12420
NEWLYWED HUSBAND: “Honey, tomorrow I plan to shoot some dice if it’s all right with you?”
NEWLYWED WIFE: “It’s okay with me, but don’t bring any home. I don’t know the first thing about cooking them.”
Joke #12414
My wife is a terrible cook. You could use her spaghetti to play tug of war!
Joke #12385
Is my wife a good cook? Ha! I know garbage disposals that eat better than I do.
Joke #12380
FIRST MAN: “I got married because I got tired of eating restaurant food, washing my own laundry, and wearing clothes with holes in them.”
SECOND MAN: “That’s funny! I got divorced for the same reasons.”