::slaps someone’s desk::
“you need to wake up. Important stuff here!”
– Dr. OldNBald
Tag Archives: desk
Joke #12641
A football scout returned from the hills of Kentucky and told his boss, “I found a kid up there who is six feet, nine inches tall and weighs four hundred pounds. He has hands like hams and a neck size of thirty inches.”
The college coach jumped up from behind his desk and shouted, “He sounds like what the team needs. Bring him in.”
“I can’t,” said the scout. “His chain only reaches ten feet.”
Joke #11281
Honey: Excuse me, dear. What is the meaning of these flowers on my desk today?
Bunny: Why, it’s your wedding anniversary.
Honey: Is that so? Well, do let me know when yours is so I may do the same for you.
The Case of the Missing Coat of Arms
I was stupid in 6th grade and thought it would be funny that I should make this like a Scooby Doo mystery. Remember, I made this in 1997, when I was in 6th grade…
—————————
(version 9.9999.1 ½)
On September 4, 1994 King Arthur’s coat of arms was stolen. Detective Sam Smith was at his desk filing a report on some “punk” he caught on Main St. when the Sheriff came up to him and said “Smith, King Arthur’s Coat of guns were stolen!” Det. Smith said, “I believe that is coat of armor sir.” “No” said the Sheriff “it says coat of arms so I’m thinking that someone stole the guns to take over the world!” Det. Smith said, “OK I’ll take the task, but, before I leave, it’s armor that was stolen.” “Guns” said the Sheriff, but Det. Smith was in his Viper before he said it.
When he got to the scene of the crime no one was there. In a distant tunnel there was a bunch of photographers on top of a crashed car taking pictures of the car. Det. Smith thought nothing of it. He went inside the castle and there was King Arthur’s coat of arms! Then out of nowhere, a monster came out of the darkness! Det. Smith started running. As Det. Smith ran down the endless corridor he saw a lot of chandeliers. He thought maybe he could trap the guy by cutting a rope and trapping the monster inside like the cartoons!
When he had a chance he cut the rope on a chandelier he captured the monster, then he said, “It’s time to unmask you. He took off a mask and he said, “Don Knotts?”
He thought and said, “Hey wait a minute.” He tool off tons of masks. It sorta went in this order: Don Knotts, Scooby Doo, The Creature from the Black Lagoon, Michael Jackson, Bugs Bunny, Bigfoot, and millions of others. Then the crook said, “Enough with the masks!!!” Then the crook took off the remaining masks. Det. Smith said, “Sheriff? Why did you do it Sheriff?” The “Sheriff” said, “Why do you think …. Because I’m evil ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!” “Sorry whoever you are but you’re going to jail!
THE END
table time
table time – n. a sexual act in which you’re doing a girl doggy style and she’s bent over a desk or table, and in the middle of sex you yell out, “What time is it?” and when she says something like “I don’t know,” you say “It’s table time” and you slam her head down upon the table
susin
susin – v. to wipe boogers under a desk