Tag Archives: commercial

Why Doctors Are Called Quacks

“Doc” “Shrink” “Quack?” Why are doctors called quacks? My Doctor told me to take a bath in Oatmeal when I told him I had itchy skin. Now tell me, how is a doctor NOT a quack? I had a Math Teacher who couldn’t speak clearly and couldn’t teach (in fact he got fired from the excessive complaints). He wasn’t Mr. Jamin*…he was Dr. JAMIN*. Doctors are all around us. I mean look at the silly quotes they make up: “An Apple a Day Keeps the Doctor away.” Hell if that were true I’d eat more apples then Washington State ever had! I mean if you ever watch any commercials about medicine you’ll hear: ” 9 out of 10 doctors agree that so-and-so medicine works.” It seems to me that quacks can never make up there mind! It’s always 7 out of 10 or 18 out of 20, but never 20 out of 20! I bet the medicine companies had to bribe doctors to agree with each other, let alone actually support the medicine. Bottom line is: DOCTOR’S ARE QUACKS!

 

*His name was changed to keep him private and to hide his true stupidity to the outside world.

The Adiboo Commercial Song Lyrics

this is a transcription of the theme song to words, through memory…it may not be exact. If you want to know what the fuck Adiboo was, it was a kids software program. Adiboo was an alien kid or something.

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Adiboo

Adiboo

Always got a lotta things to do!

 

Best of all

its up to you!

with a cool cool pal called

Adiboo!

 

Who does the building? (I do I do)

Who does the driving? (I dooooooo!)

Its me and you

and you and me

and me and you and ADIBOO!

 

Ooo, ooo! Oooo!

(legal junk said really fast)

Adiboo!

Capitalistic Tyranny

I wrote this for English in my senior year of high school in 2004.

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A man with a briefcase walks out onto the sidewalk. In the country Yahoo 57, one of many owned by the corporation Yahoo, the sidewalks moved you along to your destination. The year was 2082, and the man had a calm look on his face. Thirty seconds after getting on the sidewalk, squares formed into a disconnected globe around the top half of the man’s body.

The squares were green, until images started appearing inside the squares. The images started advertising different products that were being sold. The products advertised ranged from hair products to exercise weights. Each commercial didn’t last for more than 5 seconds before another took its place.

As he was transported along the sidewalk, other people on the sides of the road were surrounded by similar green globes, even a baby in its carriage. About 10 minutes later, the man stepped off the sidewalk. After finishing their last messages, the green squares disappeared. On his way into the Yahoo 57 Capital Building, the man had already decided how he would use his next paycheck.