conqui – v. to jack off to Britney Spears
Tag Archives: Britney Spears
Oops I Bit It Again
Parody of Britney Spears – Oops I Did It Again
–
Some people just blow..
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
I think I bit it again..
I gave you relief, my braces are bent-
Oh babay-
It might seem like a crush-
But it doesn’t mean,
That I’m tearing up… (no tears no)
‘Cause to remove my dentures-
Would be so frightful to see…
Oops I bit it again
I grated your parts,
Then flossed all the same..
Oh babay, babay
Oops, you think that I love
This hint of a shove–
I’m not that into it.
You need to wobble like this-
And screaming I say:
“I wish this here nose,
Didn’t look like this..”
I try watching your ways..
Can’t you see that I drool
Endlessly for days..
But to lose my dentures,
That’s just too frightful to see..
Babay-
Oops I bit it again
I grated your parts,
Then flossed all the same..
Oh babay, babay
Oops,you think that I love
This hint of a shove–
I’m not that into it.
“On all fours!”
“Spitney,
Before you go,
There’s something I want you to have..”
“Oh, a noodle toy!! But I’m late for dinner..Isn’t this?”
“Yeah,with extra fizz..”
“But I thought that ‘Old Faithful’ stopped with
No lotion or gin”
“Well baby, I went down &,popped it for you..”
“Oh you shouldn’t have..”
Oh babay
Oops I bit it again
I grated your parts,
Then flossed all the same..
Oh baby, baby
Oops, you think that I love
This hint of a shove–
I’m not that into it.
Oops I bit it again
I grated your parts,
Then flossed all the same
Oh baby, baby
Oops, you think that I love
This hint of a shove–
I’m not that into it.
The Clutch In My Van
Parody of Britney Spears – Touch Of My Hand
–
She learned to drive at an early age….
I’m not ashamed
To use the high beam,
I find myself parking
When the light is green…
When my tires are blown
I practice my show,
And ride my clutch
With the curtains closed…
And I know my poor brain ain’t right…
When I’m standing by your side…
I’m thinking about
My van all the time..
Motor oil is on my mind.
And where & how it will apply
I love my shelves
Covered in sheep skin
I can’t control this van I’m in…
Cause I’ve just discovered,
My van’s taking over…
I’ll have to hide it from my mother-
The more I come
To understand
The clutch in my van…
And where it’s at
In between my seat
Lately Ive been noticing,
The blisters on me..
The wrinkled up skin
When I’m oily & gray,
I’m learning to drive
In a most serious way..
And I know my poor brain ain’t right…
When I’m standing by your side.
I’m thinking about
My van all the time…
Motor oil is on my mind
And where & how it will apply
Cause I’ve just discovered,
My van’s taking over…
I’ll have to hide it from my mother-
The more I come
To understand
The clutch in my van…
Get My Doctor On the Line
Parody of “Baby One More Time,” by Britney Spears.
–
There’s more than 1 way to “blow up”…
Oh baby baby
How was I supposed to grow?
Into this size 9 here..
Oh baby baby
The doc should have let me know..
And now my shirt’s too tight,yeah..
He asked me how many cc’s
of silicone that I could hold..
Now-
My Double D’s are killing me..
I must confess sometimes I leak..
My shirt’s see through you can see my spine,
Give me a dime..
Get my doctor on the line!
Oh baby baby-
I wheeze when I squeeze,it true.
I can feel the bones behind them..
Oh baby baby-
Can you cut each one in two..
Or maybe I could cram them..
Before-going on MTV..
Are they big enough for my new show..?
Because-
My Double D’s are killing me..(filling me)
I must confess sometimes I leak,(sometimes I leak)
My shirt’s see through,you can see my spine-
Give me a dime..
Get my doctor on the line!
Oh baby baby-
You know I’m suppose to blow
your money on my tight brassieres..
Oh baby baby
I shouldn’t have had the hose..
Go and fill them through my right ear..
You promised me an average c-
But these basketballs are hitting my nose..
And-
My Double D’s are killing me (spilling free)
I must confess sometimes I leak (sometimes I leak)
My shirt’s see through,you can see my spine-
Give me a dime..
Get my doctor on the line!
We Need More Holiday Songs
O Christmas Tree, Santa Baby, Here Comes Santa Claus, White Christmas, the list goes on. How many songs have we heard a million times? How many versions of the same songs must we choke down?
A horrendous onslaught of holiday music is upon us every time we get into the months of November and December, as Christmas, the month-long holiday is the time we love to be tortured by it.
Not only do we have to buy buy buy, but we have to listen to millionaire corporate slaves sing yet another version of that “Do You Know What I Know” song that takes forever to listen to. We’re already tossing hordes of cash out the windows into the pockets of companies in the RIAA — couldn’t they possibly hire some fuckers to write some new songs? Isn’t 300 versions of each Christmas song from each new generation of singers enough?
Oh goody, DJ Whatshisface made a remix of Joy to the World and DJ Megaloser made O Christmas Tree v. Santa Baby. Or let’s have Britney Spears sing the 12 Days of Christmas — that’s new and exciting!
What is even more annoying is that each time the song is remade, the singer adds their own little “flair” to it, so you would remember that in BigBoobedMovieStarNowASinger said “Yeayyeeyeahheeyaa!” at the end of each sentence in the song. It’s crap!
Sometimes bands make new Christmas songs, I’m sure, so why can’t we just stop dragging on those same fucking songs we have to listen to over and over? They’re so fucking old! Fuck them all! And where are the Thanksgiving songs?! I want to hear songs about how we screwed the Native Americans and killed turkeys!
who is the best?
Loading ...I Drive You Crazy
Parody of “You Drive Me Crazy,” by Britney Spears
—————————-
Baby
I’m so into you
But your not the only one
That I’ve ever screwed
Baby
You spin me around
My hair extentions
Fall right to the ground
Everytime you look at me
I do my shimmy
And you start to flee
Loving you means so much more
But its not as fun to me as being a whore
*chorus*
I drive you crazy
You just cant sleep
I’m so annoying
And, I’m such a geek
Oh crazy
I wear clothes too tight
Baby thinking of me
Keeps me busy all night
You tell me
I look like a goat
And I cant even
Reach a high note
Dont tell me
You wanna be free
Just cuz my make-up
Is done all shitty
Loving you means so much more
But its not as fun to me as being a whore
*chorus repeated*
Crazy
I’m so confused
I’m such a ditz
And I have fake boobs
Crazy
But they feel alright
Every day and every night
*chorus repeated*
Joke #5549
Q: Why didn’t the skeleton fuck Britney Spears?
A: Because he didn’t have a boner in his body!
winhala
winhala – n. a stupid, annoying, popular girl, that likes Backstreet Boys, N’sync, Britney Spears and the whole bunch that are gay “singers,” that is younger than you
oneroadi
oneroadi – n. stupid 12 year old girls that eat too many popsicles and love BSB, N’sync, and Britney Spears
inoc
inoc – n. a poster of Britney Spears pointing out the names of body parts in Spanish