Tag Archives: battle

Sunken Queen Mary (By Aliens)

In July 2022, maintenance of the Queen Mary fell behind.  Retrofitting of the 50 caliber artillery rail guns was behind schedule.  This was the tactical advantage the aliens needed to destroy The Queen.

In the midst of battle an ancient civilization, named the Risk and Insurance Management Joint Officiants Bond (aka RIMJOB), rose from the aftermath to challenge the aliens and reclaim what is rightfully theirs, the Workers’ Compensation industry.

Their leader, Grand Imperialist Sobby Mardon was soon hit with fraudulent longshore claims due to the sinking of the Queen Mary.  Eventually, Sobby Mardon employed the services of WeSuckAt Investigations to investigate these claims and was immediately regretful.  They sucked.

Moral: If you’re going to hire someone to investigate fraud, hire a good company.

Hokemon Theme Song

Parody of Pokemon Theme Song.

Fun Fact: The “Hokemon” are a group of fucked up animals that I made to parody Pokemon.  They can be found on SquackleWiki.

Today is the day, to be blown away

Like no one ever had…

I will get them on my balls, and be their masters till they die…

The Hokemon have to understand, the power that I put inside them…

Hokemon…!  Gotta fuck ’em all!!

It’s you and me Hokemon…

I know it’s our destiny!

Hokemon…Oh…you’re my best weapon,

in a battle we must wiiiiiin…

Hokemon…!  Gotta fuck ’em all!!

A fart so true — our courage will jerk me off!

You teach me and I’ll give you a gun!

Hokemon!

Gotta Fuck ‘Em All!

Gotta get ‘Em All!

HO-GAY-MONNNNNNNNN!