Tag Archives: baseball

Joke #12660

A baseball scout’s star discovery turned out to be a horse.  Even though the team manager was skeptical, he gave the horse a tryout.  The horse went up to the plate with a bat in his hooves and knocked every ball pitched to him out of the park.  Then the manager put the horse in the outfield, and he caught every ball hit to him.

The manager was so impressed, he started the horse on opening day.  In his first at bad in the first inning, the horse cracked a ball into the stands, but just stood at home plate.  “Run, you dumb horse!  Run!”  screamed the manager.

“Run?” remarked the horse.  “Are you nuts?  If I could run, I wouldn’t be at the ball park — I’d be at the race track.”

Joke #12142

A professional baseball player, after being called out on a close play at home, stormed over to the umpire and shouted, “Collins, you’re the second best umpire in the league.”

To say the least, the umpire was astonished. “Thanks for the compliment,” he said.

“It’s no compliment,” snapped the player.  “All the other umpires in the league are tied for first.”