A space creature and his girlfriend got stuck in a revolving door and they’ve going around together ever since.
Tag Archives: alien
Joke #11616
A man had been kept prisoner aboard a flying saucer for thirty years. When it finally returned to Earth, he escaped and ran across an open field yelling, “I’m free! I’m free!”
A small boy standing nearby said, “So what? I’m four!”
Joke #11615
Two aliens from space upon seeing their first snake.
First: “That’s only a little green snake.”
Second: “Yes, but it might be as dangerous as a ripe one!”
Joke #11614
John: “Why are you snapping your fingers?”
Bill: “To keep the flying saucers away.”
John: “I don’t see any flying saucers.”
Bill: “Works, doesn’t it?”
Joke #11613
Once there were the two space creatures who threw an alarm clock back and forth just to pass the time.
Joke #11612
A space creature walked into a drugstore and ordered a sundae that cost fifty cents. He put down a ten dollar bill to pay for it. The clerk thought, “What does a space creature know about money?” So he handed him back a single dollar in change.
As he did, he said, “You know, we don’t get many space creatures in here.”
“No wonder,” answered the creature, “at nine dollars a sundae!”
Joke #11610
Two creatures in a flying saucer took a quick pass over Earth. All they saw in their one brief glimpse was the Eiffel Tower in Paris, and a camel in the desert. They radioed back to their planet.
“Forget about this planet Earth. Their buildings are made out of erector sets, and their horses are warped.”
Joke #11609
A woman telephoned the police to report that she’d spotted a flying saucer, and that men from space had been at work on her car.
“They’ve stolen the steering wheel, the brake pedal, and the entire dashboard,” she reported.
The desk sergeant agreed to investigate.
A few minutes later, his phone rang again.
“Don’t bother,” said the same voice. “I was so shook up, I got into the back seat by mistake.”
Joke #11284
“My girlfriend’s name should be Alien.”
“Why?”
“She’s out of this world.”
Joke #11046
Q: Why did the body snatcher take his victim to the top of the hotel before eating him?
A: Because everything tastes better on the Ritz.
Joke #10980
Q: What’s the theme song from Aliens?
A: “I’ve Got You Under My Skin.”
Joke #10781
An earthling was a guest aboard a flying saucer.
Earthling (to space creature): “What is this, coffee or tea? It tastes like kerosene.”
Space creature: “It must be tea. Our coffee tastes like jet fuel!”
Joke #10780
Visitors from space have a strange idea about the way things work on Earth.
One alien picked up the phone and dialed “0.”
When the operator answered, he said, “The telephone cord is too long. Would you please pull it through from your end?”
Joke #10779
Two space creatures landed in the jungle.
First: “I just found out, I’m stronger than Tarzan!”
Second: “How do you know that?”
First: “Because I don’t scream when I beat my chest.”
Joke #10778
A farmer rushed over to a flying saucer which had just landed, and spoke to the creature who emerged from within.
“Hey, you!” he exclaimed.
“Do you know you landed your spaceship in my potato patch?”
“So what?” said the creature. “Now you can raise mashed potatoes!”