#6474: Holmes -> davepoobond

Holmes: hey, are you good at riddles?

davepoobond: i guess

Holmes: A man and a woman were driving in their car when it broke down. The man decided to go for help at a gas station a few miles back. He made sure nobody was in the car, rolled all the windows up, and locked all of the sedan’s doors. He went off, but when he came back, his wife was dead, and there was a stranger in the car. No physical damage was done to the car, so how did the stranger get in?

davepoobond: dont know

davepoobond: came in thrhough the glove compartment

Holmes: damnit! ask someone who would know, this riddle is makin me mad

Holmes: already guessed that

Holmes: i also guessed that the strange was a blowup doll and when the wife saw it she died of a heargt attack

davepoobond: whered u get it

davepoobond: dont they have an answer for it?

Holmes: nope

Holmes: they said: “sorry were not givin the answer for this one”

Holmes: a friend and his friend gave it to me

Holmes: ask around…

Holmes: like to all your friends

davepoobond: http://www.ben-ritter.com/

davepoobond: thats this site this kid gave me at school

davepoobond: i sorta know him.

davepoobond: met him at the shuttle stop one day

davepoobond: gave him Squackle, and he said the menu was very unorganized

davepoobond: and he told me to look at the menu he has

Holmes: uh

Holmes: he’s got a lot less links

Holmes: then you do

davepoobond: yeah, i know that now

davepoobond: but this site is pretty good for format

Holmes: just tell him that i get more hits on my site then your mom gets in one night

davepoobond: heh, its not even finished yet tho

Holmes: i can tell that

Holmes:

Holmes:

davepoobond: he said its gonna be like a hacker page thingy

Holmes: yeah what eva, they all say that

davepoobond: but “not R-rated stuff’

Holmes: wtf hackers are all about r rated stuff

davepoobond: lol

davepoobond: i dont know

davepoobond: i think he’s in 9th grade or 7 or 8. i’m not sure

Holmes: i c

davepoobond: this is really gay. i spilled water on my keyboard accidently and my shift key and ctrl key are sticking, but they still work

Holmes: heheheh

davepoobond: do you think i should make the font on squackle smaller?

Holmes: keyboards and water don’t mix

davepoobond: do you think i should make the font on squackle smaller?

Holmes: hmm

Holmes: the font looks fine to me

davepoobond: is there anything that you think i should do that would make the site look better?

Holmes: yes

Holmes: don’t listen to what dumbasses say about your site

davepoobond: heh

davepoobond: well, this guy said that he makes formats for companies and they pay him

Holmes: whoich guy?

davepoobond: the same guy

Holmes: yeah right that looks like a template made from some program

davepoobond: that could mean he’s that good though

Holmes: hmm..

Holmes: it COULD, but ask him HTML questions

davepoobond: its not like i know anything about HTML

Holmes: . . . you made THAT entire website without ANY knowledge of HTML?

davepoobond: if i did, i wouldn’t have asked anyone for help formatting the site…you saw how it was before D-Fiance designed it

davepoobond: yeah

Holmes: …what is the internet coming too?

davepoobond: heh

davepoobond: but i did have web site experience before i went into it

davepoobond: and a nifty little tool called AOLPress

Holmes: get dreamweaver

davepoobond: though it might be old, its still the best out there

davepoobond: dreamweaver wouldnt fit on my comp

Holmes: THE BEST!!!!!!!! HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Holmes: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Holmes: no

davepoobond: best for me

Holmes: even front page is better the AOL press

davepoobond: how much space does Dreamweaver take?

Holmes: it took an hour and a half to download

Holmes: let me check

Holmes: about 71 MB

davepoobond: hmm

Holmes: flash is 35 mb

davepoobond: i’d have to get rid of all my MP3s…

davepoobond: i want around 200 mb of free space on my computer

Holmes: adobe photoshop is 100mb

Holmes: YAY i hit all the ducks! whats my prize?

davepoobond: where

Holmes: on your website

Holmes: it said on one of the banner ads: “hit the ducks and win a prize”

davepoobond: i have one of those?

davepoobond: heh

Holmes: ye-up

davepoobond: was it on the top?

Holmes: bottom

Holmes: gtg

Holmes: bye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

davepoobond: does dreamweaver make you edit the HTML only?

Holmes: no

Holmes: it’s like AOL press

davepoobond: or is like AOLPress

Holmes: but not gay

davepoobond: ok

Holmes: and a lot better

Holmes: abnd stuff

Holmes: bye

davepoobond: where do i get it

Holmes: you can buy it

Holmes: for 900 dollars

davepoobond: lol…………….

#6470: Holmes -> davepoobond

Note: To understand this IM, read The “lol” Theory

———————

Holmes: hey

davepoobond: yo

Holmes: what up

davepoobond: not much you

Holmes: same

Holmes: bored

Holmes: shitless

Holmes: heh a car controlled by a remote control

Holmes: cool

davepoobond: heh

davepoobond: thats been around for a while

Holmes: it’d be like a real life video game

davepoobond: imadumbass

Holmes: iknow

Holmes: lmao

#6469: Evil Hell Cow -> davepoobond

Evil Hell Cow: pssst

Evil Hell Cow: >.>

davepoobond: yaa?

Evil Hell Cow: Hey

davepoobond: hi

Evil Hell Cow: Pssst I got something ya might want <.<

davepoobond: k…..wat is it.

Evil Hell Cow: and it’s only for $50 ::firm nod:: It’s some Viagra….dont ya want some ?

davepoobond: oh yeah………………do you keep my identity confidential

Evil Hell Cow: Nope we sell all your personal info to other companies so they can send you personalized ads and shit

davepoobond: ah ha…….hmm…………give it to me anyway

Evil Hell Cow: we sell your medical records your therapy treat ment, and everything about your whole life

Evil Hell Cow: Alright ::holds out the bottle::now give over the money

davepoobond: ::hands him the money:: alright now the bottle

Evil Hell Cow: ::tosses it over::good luck chump! XD

davepoobond: i dont have a problem!

Evil Hell Cow: know what could suck ?

Evil Hell Cow: OD’ing on Viagra

Evil Hell Cow: Imagine if you did that and had a hard on for like, an entire year

davepoobond: i dont think you can

davepoobond: it’d fall off before that

Evil Hell Cow: LOL

#6466: Holmes -> davepoobond

Holmes: i’m dead bored

davepoobond: sorry

Holmes: don’t be sorry

Holmes: my friends are sorry….they never have any good stories to fuckin tell

Holmes: always the same shit over and over again

davepoobond: heh

Holmes: “yeah this one time i ran over a…” “a squirrel, nick, yeah i know…that was back in april” “it was sooo cool!” “oh yeah….cool…..riiiight”

davepoobond: heh

#6464: Evil Hell Cow -> davepoobond

Evil Hell Cow: Wouldn’t it suck if the male sexual organ was their index finger ?

davepoobond: yeah

davepoobond: well maybe not

Evil Hell Cow: no ?

davepoobond: it’d be easier to masturbate

Evil Hell Cow: Oh yeah I can imagine all the boys masturbating in class

davepoobond: teachers would be like “stop doing that”

davepoobond: doing what

Evil Hell Cow: *Squirrrrrrrrt*

davepoobond: and they’re stickin it peoples ears and mouths

davepoobond: and poking them

davepoobond: like crazy

Evil Hell Cow: LMAO

Evil Hell Cow: you can give yourself oral

davepoobond: “i impregnated 45 girls today mom”

Evil Hell Cow: LOL!

davepoobond: “i have to get something out of the corner of my mouth”

davepoobond: “(oh baby)”

Evil Hell Cow: LMAO

#6463: Evil Hell Cow -> davepoobond

Evil Hell Cow: If there was a fantasy creature that you had an infatuation with

Evil Hell Cow: what would it be ?

davepoobond: infatuation?

Evil Hell Cow: An extreme liking of

davepoobond: a fantasy character

davepoobond: that i liked a lot

davepoobond: what would it be

Evil Hell Cow: Creature

Evil Hell Cow: not character

davepoobond: hrmm

davepoobond: i dont really have one

Evil Hell Cow: Alrightie

davepoobond: y

Evil Hell Cow: Just curious

#6462: Evil Hell Cow -> davepoobond

Evil Hell Cow: Pssst!

Evil Hell Cow: hey!

Evil Hell Cow: pssst!

Evil Hell Cow: you!

Evil Hell Cow: psst!

davepoobond: wut

Evil Hell Cow: You aren’t wearing any pants!

Evil Hell Cow: pssst

davepoobond: oh……no i’m not actually

davepoobond: howdja know

Evil Hell Cow: O.O;;;

davepoobond: i’m actually wearing shorts

Evil Hell Cow: Good! Glad ya noticed!

Evil Hell Cow: ^^;;

davepoobond: did you just IM me?

Evil Hell Cow: No I didnyt

davepoobond: i heard the ring

Evil Hell Cow: Moo

davepoobond: hmm