“Listen,” the scout said to the coach of the Hoboken Hurricanes. “I know for sure this guy is a natural fullback. He was born with an unusual growth under his arm… an ingrown football.”
Joke #12151
Did you hear about the middle linebacker who was so tough that as a child he didn’t have a teddy bear? He slept with a live grizzly instead.
Joke #12150
During a cloudburst two football captains met in the middle of the flood field for the coin toss.
“Are we really going to play in this downpour?” one captain asked the referee.
“That’s right,” the referee replied. “Now which end of the field do you want?”
Shaking his head in disbelief, the captain answered, “We’ll receive downstream.”
Joke #12149
He’s so naive when it comes to sports, he thinks the Orange Bowl is a place to store citrus fruits.
Joke #12148
You can always tell a boring football game. The people in the stands get their hot dogs during the first and second quarters to they won’t miss any of the halftime.
Joke #12147
Maybe you heard about the dumb high school quarterback who didn’t throw the ball the entire game because there was a sign outside the stadium that read, “No passing zone.”
Joke #12146
HANK: “How did you do at the track today, Frank?”
FRANK: “Not too good. Some folks play a horse to win, some to place, and some to show. But I should have bet my horse to live!”
Joke #12145
Did you hear about the really rich football player who has an unlisted number on his jersey?
Joke #12144
Football is a game where some player takes home the goal post while some others take home a part of the gate.
Joke #12143
One horse player to another: “I bet on a horse today that went off at ten to one. He came in around a quarter to three.”
Joke #12142
A professional baseball player, after being called out on a close play at home, stormed over to the umpire and shouted, “Collins, you’re the second best umpire in the league.”
To say the least, the umpire was astonished. “Thanks for the compliment,” he said.
“It’s no compliment,” snapped the player. “All the other umpires in the league are tied for first.”
Joke #12141
Don’t think I’m not athletic just because I’m skinny. In school, the coach begged me to join the track team. He needed another javelin.
Joke #12140
FOREST RANGER: “What did you do with that eight-point stag you shot illegally?”
HUNTER: “I gave it away.”
FOREST RANGER: “I see. So you’re guilty of passing the buck too.”
Joke #12139
Then there was the playboy-baseball player who lost his batting eye because he couldn’t stay away from curves.
Joke #12138
Did you hear about the pitcher who punched the batter who homered? His mother always told him, “If someone hits, you hit him back.”