I’ve been married ten years and there’s still a lot I don’t know about my mother-in-law… like what she looks like with her mouth closed!
Category Archives: (C) Misogyny Jokes
Joke #13128
My mother-in-law is so overweight, her rolls of fat come in a baker’s dozen.
Joke #13119
Now there’s a new flight that allows a businessman to take his bag along with him on the plane. It’s called the husband-and-wife special.
Joke #13097
Did you hear about the ugly gal who studied judo in case a man should kiss her and try to run away?
Joke #13091
Old maids are like fishermen — they’re always talking about the ones that get away.
Joke #13074
Her cooking is so bad that just to be on the safe side, she only invites dinner guests who have their life insurance paid up.
Joke #13063
At a perfume counter of a department store, a man said to a woman clerk, “It’s for my wife — do you have any perfume that smells like money?”
Joke #13054
Bank teller to man at his window in bank: “I’m sorry, Mr. Page, but your wife beat you to the draw.”
Joke #13007
HAROLD: “I just got a new dog for my wife.”
LOUIE: “Sounds like a real great trade.”
Joke #12951
CONFUCIUS SAY: Women who use gunpowder as night cream end up with complexion that is shot.
Joke #12915
I told my doctor I’m the first man on the face of the earth to suffer from morning sickness. When I wake up in the morning and see my wife in curlers and face cream, I get sick to my stomach.
Joke #12907
“My boyfriend is too materialistic,” Sandy complained to Sue. “He only loves me because I’m beautiful.”
“Then why don’t you break up with the creep?” Sue suggested.
“What!” cried Sandy. “And blow a chance at marrying the richest guy in town!”
Joke #12906
OVERHEARD: “My wife not only has kept her girlish figure, she has doubled it.”
Joke #12902
A bachelor was finding it hard to decide whether he should marry a very beautiful but stupid girl or a rather plain-looking creature who was blessed with a magnificent voice. Art triumphed. He married the soprano.
The morning after the nuptials he woke up, took one look at his sleeping bride, nudged her and shrieked, “For heaven’s sake, sing!”
Joke #12899
There was a girl who dropped her diver boyfriend because she couldn’t get him to give her a pearl out of an oyster. So she started dating older gentlemen and ended up getting a diamond out of an old crab.