Doctors have recently discovered that the major cause of headaches to men and women in the United States is marriage.
Category Archives: (C) Misandry Jokes
Joke #12245
Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise, but boring as heck.
Joke #12243
Even boy smarry for money now. These days bachelors only want a girl just like the girl that married dear old Dad… if Mom was an heiress.
Joke #12238
Men are like guns. Keep them around long enough and you’ll eventually want to shoot them.
Joke #12075
PFC. MARY JONES: “You’re the last man I would marry.”
PVT. JOEY SMITH: “How many are ahead of me?”
Joke #12043
One teenage gal said to her friend who was about to make a telephone call, “If a girl answers, don’t hang up. His voice is changing.”
Joke #12032
“How come you’re divorcing your husband after fifty-three years?”
“It’s like this, Your Honor, enough is enough.”
Joke #12017
My husband is so cheap! I asked him to buy me an air conditioner to keep cool and what does he get me? A book of horror stories. He told me if I feel warm, to read them and they’ll make my blood run cold.
That’s nothing. My husband is such a miser that when he takes a dollar out of his wallet, the moths fly out!
Joke #11971
As a man, I’m a failure. Even before I was born, I was a failure. My parents wanted a girl.
Joke #11961
The other day, a girl told me I have a face that could drive women crazy
…and I have a funny feeling she didn’t mean it as a compliment.
Joke #11951
GIRL: “Did you know that women are smarter than men?”
BOY: “Really? I never knew that.”
GIRL: “There! See what I mean.”
Joke #9231: Policy, Polly Do
Bill’s barn burned down, and his wife Polly called the insurance company.
Polly told the insurance company, “We had that barn insured for fifty thousand, and I want my money.”
The agent replied, “Hold on just a minute, Polly. Insurance doesn’t work quite like that. We will ascertain the value of what was insured and provide you with a new barn of comparable worth.”
There was a long pause before Polly replied, “Then I’d like to cancel the policy on my husband.”
Joke #9143
Jane had a system for labeling homemade freezer meals.
She would carefully note in large clear letters, “Meatloaf” or “Pot Roast” or “Steak and Vegetables” or “Chicken and Dumplings” or “Beef Pot Pie.”
Everyday when she asked her husband what he wanted for dinner, he never asked for any of those meals.
She decided to stock the freezer with his various requests. What he really likes.
In Jane’s freezer you’ll see a whole new set of labels. You’ll find dinners with neat little tags that say: “Whatever,” “Anything,” “I Don’t Know,” “I Don’t Care,” “Something Good,” or “Food.”
No more frustration for Jane because no matter what her husband replies when she asks him what he wants for dinner, it’s there waiting.